I AM SORRY! Part 1

I am here with a heartfelt message to all of you… from my heart to yours. It’s long but vulnerable. Please read on.

I had a call last night with a mentor and friend of mine, Mr. Shaune Clarke. He has been in my life in many capacities for over a decade and we are now currently in business together for our 90% automated biz and I am infinitely grateful for his courage to step up and offer some calls that he is calling CONFRONTATION calls to our team.

It takes a lot of courage to hold space for these calls and to be on the receiving end. ESPECIALLY from someone who has seen me in all my facets… and can see right through me and triggers me on a regular basis without even trying.

When I booked the call, he said to me… be prepared Keri… This is going to HURT. I couldn’t think clearly yesterday as I literally felt like I was bracing myself all day for the pounding that was to come.

And the reality was… YES… I was held to my weaknesses and where I’m showing up in a way that is keeping me from my dreams, but the conversation was filled with love and kindness and vulnerable authenticity from us both.

Two things he brought to me…

1. I come across as ‘self-important’.

2. I can be stop/start, haphazard and lack consistency.

The first one… really took me be surprise… but I am willing to dive in and look at this because if it’s in his experience it can very easily be in the collective.

And within 12 hours (most of them sleeping), I am already seeing how this unfolds in my life.

I looked at Hugh this morning and said… it’s the same reason when i was growing up and going to overnight camp… I would be told I was ‘too competitive’.

Too competitive in comparison to what, right?

I grew up surrounded by multi-millionaires who are very successful in life… I was taught to show up, go for my dreams, be wiling to ask for what you want… whatever it is you want… and know that everything is possible to receive.

I didn’t think of myself as competitive… I just thought… I’m going for what I want. I want the best… ALWAYS have and that’s what I get to have. Isn’t everyone that way? (it took my until my 30s to realise no… not everyone is that way)

I was also raised in an environment that in the social circles I ran in… no matter where I would go… people know my family.

I would end up in conversations with all my grandparents and parents friends that I didn’t know but they wanted to know me. There was a ‘fame’ that came with being in my family.

I was groomed in how to behave, what to wear, how to sit, how to do all the things to BE the princess of the family I was born into. I literally had to have nice clothes to wear to go to dinner at my grandparents house. Jeans were not allowed.

What I didn’t know at the time was why. I knew my grandpa had car dealerships around the city. I knew that when I would drive around you couldn’t leave the house without seeing at least one car bought from my grandpa… but that didn’t MEAN anything to me. It was simply my life.

And today… I look back and think about this concept of self-importance.

Well… YES… my family has had a MASSIVE impact on the automotive industry. I mean 1 million Chevrolets sold between 1936-1986 and way more after that. It was the world’s #1 chevy dealer for years… and that is only just the beginning.

SO YES.. THEY ARE AN IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

And without ever knowing it… I, of course, inherited that. How could I not?

But… I didn’t know it.

I didn’t know how it was playing out in my life.

I’m still sitting with how much that is effecting my life, because as we know… if it’s playing out where Shaune could see it… where else is it playing out and stopping me from my dreams?

So… Let me share how Shaune could see this playing out…

It’s in my writing for you.

In my heart… It has always been my purpose… to be a part of healing this world and making it a better place.

I have been told for all my life… I am one of the most kind, caring, beautiful human beings by people from all walks of life and all I have ever wanted to do is help people feel their best and so good things for this planet, even as a little girl.

And as I have stepped into my role as a messenger and bringing you messages day in and out… it comes from a place of absolute LOVE.

It comes from a place of KNOWING that without a doubt… this is my purpose on this planet. Not everyone has the guts to come and share their life, their highs and lows as vulnerably as I do and nor do you have to.

But I know… this is my work.

And even though I absolutely only want the best for all of you… I was shown how ‘pushy’ it can be and how it may come across as self-important…. when that is the last thing from my mind.

The truth is… I’m not sure how it changes, yet.

I have only just become so very aware of this.

And there are times I want to jump through the computer screen and WAKE YOU THE FUCK UP to see where you are playing so small and letting yourself down in creating your dreams.

I honestly want to shake you awake because I can truly see so much for you, if you would just get out of your own way.

But maybe… my energy behind it can be too piercing… too fierce… and maybe I bring my energy of ‘self-importance’ and the feeling of… you should LISTEN TO ME cause I KNOW… TOO MUCH to the table.

MAYBE it’s not.

I don’t know.

But I am willing to hear and listen and explore.

I am willing to explore new ways of delivering my message for you.

I am willing to be firm and allow the message to come through in a slightly shifted way.

And it may not change the words at all.

But I can shift the energy behind it.

I can check myself before bringing these messages to you.

And whilst I want to apologise.. it’s a Sorry, not sorry type thing.

I’m sorry if my energy has stopped you from hearing the message…

I’m sorry if my energy has stopped you from engaging in the message…

I’m sorry if my energy has stopped you from moving forward in working with me…

It has absolutely NEVER been my intention.

I’m NOT sorry that I showed up and delivered my message the best I could with the resources I have had available.

I am not sorry that has already changed MANY lives.

I am not sorry that you have been moved to tears and to shift and change.

I am definitely not sorry if I have triggered you, because it’s in those triggers that should you choose to look at them and do the inner work to clear them… you get to heal and move forward more powerfully in life.

So… my commitment to myself and to you…

To be a CONSTANT enquirer of my own shadows.

To regularly clear my energy field so that I can have the most attractive aura/energy field for myself and for you so that I can help you in the most beautiful way to also do the same for yourself.

And to show up and learn to be the best messenger i can be so that I can create the most impact on this planet.

I am here to touch millions of lives.

I AM BORN FOR THIS.

And I am committed to growing and developing to be the best messenger i can be and be a massive part of raising the wealth consciousness of this planet.

And of course… because I tend to move through things fast… it’s no surprise that I already (unknowing of this conversation last night coming) had a session lined up to work with a friend on learning Akashic Records and we went BIG and I cleared some massive stuff around this and more today, already.

Today… I gratefully come to you and say thank you.

Thank you for listening to me through my own shit.

Thank you for listening to me as I go through the ups and downs of life.

Thank you for sticking with me as I figure this role of messenger out and do all my inner work to be the best messenger I can be so that I can deliver a message you are able to receive and take on board and then can create the massive impact I am here on this planet to create.

Not because my ego wants it. Trust me… there are way easier ways to move through life than sharing the ins and outs of my life publicly to lead by example.

But because… this is my purpose and passion.

From my heart to yours… I love you. I see you. I wish all the best for you… way beyond what you are probably even allowing yourself to dream right now.

PS- I’m going to make this a 2 part series because I will share with you more about the consistency piece… but this is already long enough for our short human attention span for now. 🙂

With love…
Keri