TWO STEPS FORWARD, ONE STEP BACK

As I walk the path to lessen the grip on all of the bi-polar tendencies that have controlled my life… I’m constantly challenged.

The Neurofeedback work I’m doing with @braincode centers in Denver is so powerful. We literally re-wire my brain to activate brain waves that aren’t running and reduce activity in the ones that are over-active.

I’m 44 sessions in and still learning about what they are doing and feel grateful that I don’t have to know everything. 🙂

About 4 weeks ago, we started working my Delta waves and my frontal lobe. I had no Delta waves running, a super rare case to have no Delta activity. Those are the waves that put you into deep sleep and help you relax. So yeah… it’s no wonder I don’t remember my dreams and wake up feeling tired.

And as for the frontal lobe… it’s your emotional centre. So, everything is getting shaken up for me and when I’m there because of mental health issues… I can tell you what’s getting shaken up is not pleasant to listen to in my mind.

I had finally started to feel like there is another way, in my mind. The constant battle and looping and being mean to myself could end.

I know this is only one step back. I know that this is part of the journey and that there is a light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel. And today… I am feeling frustrated with myself, with my mind, with my inability to stop the shitty thoughts that can take over and send me into a dark hole, even though I ‘know’ better.

We all teach what we need to learn most.

17 years ago I found myself on the path to study ‘Natural Therapies’. I have been an avid learner ever since. The path has most definitely been for me first and then I choose to teach you.

I didn’t know at the time when I started that journey that it was all really to help me deal with and manage these bi-polar tendencies.

But here I sit… frustrated AF that I have good days and bad ones. That some days I can stop the nastiness in my mind from taking control and others… it grabs me and holds me.

For all this time in the personal development world, I just thought this was normal. Isn’t that funny? It’s because I listen to people day in and out tell me their problems and we work through them… it’s because I work with people’s mindset all the time that I know many of the similarities that we as humans experience.

But what I am learning as I talk to people about this and share my story… There are negative thoughts that fleet in and out for people in their minds and there are roadblocks that get in the way for everyone.

Then… there is mental health issues when you can tell me as much as you want to STOP IT, to stop the horrid noise… and I wish I could. I deeply desire to… and some moments I can, but eventually the darkness grabs hold of me again.

Through this process this year I’m having so much more awareness of it, which in some ways is good and in some it’s more frustrating cause then I know it’s taking hold but haven’t necessarily been able to stop it from happening.

Re-training, re-wiring my brain… today… feels like 2 steps forward, one step back.

I have no doubt that in the end… I will move through this and things will be different.

It’s strange sharing this stuff with you. It feels raw and vulnerable and it feels like I’m all doom and gloom when I talk about mental health stuff and sometimes I just don’t want to share… I would rather stay holed up in my cocoon where I am safe.

Then I remember who I am.

And I want to bring this conversation to the table because there is so much SHAME around mental health and also maybe you are like me and just thought you could think your way out of it. Well… I couldn’t. Maybe you will have better ’luck’ than me.

If you are with me, stand with me… let me know in the comments below by typing… I STAND WITH YOU.

I will walk through this. I have every intention of finding the love and bliss that I deeply desire in my life. It starts with me.

It starts with me completely re-wiring my brain and my nervous system, my energetic and emotional field, and my physical, spiritual and mental bodies. It’s no small feat. It takes a lot of my energy and time.

I am determined to let go of the suffering I create for myself.

Whether you are bi-polar or any other mental health issues or not, I invite you to look at where you are creating your own suffering and then do whatever it takes to let go of that being in your field. We do not have to suffer in any way, shape or form. I firmly believe that.

I firmly believe that there is an abundant world filled with love and peace for us, if we simply choose it, which really isn’t simple at all, because… obviously, you have to walk through the shadows and look in the mirror and see what is keeping you stuck in this limited world.

Obviously.

I can laugh at myself saying that too, because it’s not obvious at all.

If you are ready to step onto this path and let me show you the not so obvious way…

If you are ready to begin to unshackle yourself from your own self-imposed prison, I invite you to my one on one journey of REMEMBRANCE with me.

REMEMBRANCE is a transformational one on one journey that will help you break free from yourself.

I imagine I would still be living in a way more painful reality right now if I had not taken this journey myself.

REMEMBRANCE is an experience that can’t be put into words. Just know that it will flip your life upside down and shake you up and eventually you will find your feet on the ground, looking through new eyes at a new world.

So, if you are ready to break free and see the world through new eyes… no matter where you are on the journey of Awakening… It would be a true honour and joy to take you through REMEMBRANCE!

If you are ready to release yourself from suffering and step into ‘The New Wealth’ paradigm… join me in REMEMBRANCE.

If you are ready for a more abundant, joy-filled, loving life join me in REMEMBRANCE.

I will walk with you through the darkness and into the light.

It’s only because I am walking this path myself that I can share tools that have helped me navigate the darkness to find the light. I see it. I feel it. Let us walk there.

For more information… please comment REMEMBRANCE below.

You will thank me in 6 months time for saying yes today.