Strategies to Live well with Emotional Intensity

Keri Norley 0:02

Hello and welcome to the wealth Alchemist podcast. My name is Keri Norley, and I am so excited to have Marisa. I'm in or am on conversate she's on the show with us today. This is a podcast we've been trying. I think like it's been almost a year that we've been like kind of talking about getting this together. And she is a creative entrepreneur, award winning composer and creator of hundreds of meditations featured by apps and brands, which collectively have millions of listens every month, boom. Her music has been used in a national ad campaign for all the vitamins and the show. Lucifer on Netflix. Very cool. She's the international Amazon Best Selling Author of the book super intense. How working with your emotional intensity makes you a total superhero, and host of the unconventional meditation podcast incandescent, which is an awesome podcast, and you should definitely go and check it out. Thank you, my dear for being on the show. I'm so excited to have you.

Marisa Imon 1:03

Thank you. Me too. I'm so excited for our conversation as my emotionally intense sister.

Keri Norley 1:08

I know. Right? So when when Russ and I first met, I found out and this is what we're gonna dive into today that Mercer has quite the story around, over kind of overcoming but overcoming the life that bipolar can suck us into in a negative way. And

Marisa Imon 1:25

yeah, overcoming Yeah, overcoming the life of it, because it's like, I still live with it. But it's, it doesn't control me. And my whole life like it used to. Yes.

Keri Norley 1:36

And I remember at some point you'd said, it's a gift. And I was like, at the time when I heard that it did not feel like a gift to me in any way, shape, or form.

Marisa Imon 1:44

I get that. Oh, do

Keri Norley 1:45

I get that? I'm like, okay, so I need to know more about this thing being a gift, because it's not really like a gift. Right?

Marisa Imon 1:52

And it can't, when we'll get to this, but I'll let you finish before I dive into that. Yeah,

Keri Norley 1:59

yeah. So anyway, you can start actually, because I'm really what I want you to do is start to just explain, like, what's your journey, like, you know, and I know we have a lot to talk about. So the abbreviated version of like, where you were to, like, you know, to where you've had to overcome this because I know it was it was like, and I say this because for those of my listeners who are listening know that I have chosen this road to overcome things naturally, to start with Marisa had medication road first. And and I've said to people on the show like it, however you can do it, whatever what frickin works, whatever, whatever gets you through the day, right? And so I love though hearing how you move from one into the other. So go ahead and start to give us a little bit of a journey about what happened for you.

Marisa Imon 2:36

Yeah, well, the medications were involuntary also. So I describe living with bipolar as like being a boulder on a really thin path. And on the left, I could easily drop into suicidal emotions and thinking on the right, I could easily drop into euphoria. And it's, it's like, I have to roll down this path just right, staying balanced, staying centered, because as soon as I start to sway one way or the other, because I am an intense feeler, it just keeps going real fast until until I completely crash. Like a boulder

Keri Norley 3:18

that just like knocks down the road. You're like every step of

Marisa Imon 3:21

the road. Yeah, yes. Especially growing up. So it's so funny because my dad says that if he had to choose one word to describe me as an infant, just an infant, he would say intense. And like pretty much that never changed in my childhood. And I always just felt everything so strong. I would cry if I accidentally stepped on an ant outside, which as you can imagine would happen all the time. It's really hard to avoid. So I had like a little ant nursery in my bedroom. And my little heart was always just broken. I was I would go to bed at night like like a little dramatic. 10 year old martyr and I would pray to like some god because we were kind of raised to, you know, Believe what you want. There's all these different religions, like culturally we were Jewish, but my parents were both very open minded, and told me to just pursue whatever interests me and introduced me to like Taoism, Buddhism, all sorts of things. And so but as a kid, I was just confused. So like, go to bed. Whatever God there is. Will you take my life to save all those starving children I'm seeing on infomercials late at night with their distended bellies. And because I never slept as a kid, which is also a symptom of bipolar. I would catch those like late night infomercials where it's like send money now to save these children. And because I was so sensitive and impressionable. I would just sobbed and like wish someone would take my life if it would save all those other kids. And this feeling was just so strong and the first year I ever had long lasting depression. was when I was 10. And my, my dog who was my best friend died in my arms, he had a nice natural life. But it was so traumatic. I stopped talking to humans. And the advice that I eventually received was like, just just smile, like you got to put on a happy face. And eventually you'll feel better. And nowadays, I think that it's becoming more and more the norm where you're allowed to feel whatever you feel. But for a lot of us growing up, that was not the case. And it wasn't meant to be a bad thing. It was everyone's best attempt at helping to say, hey, just smile and fake it till you make it you'll eventually be happy. And so I tried that, that doesn't work. And but I tried so great, because I got a whole bunch of dental work done got this giant smile on my face, got voted friendliest in high school, like everyone who knew me. Not super well, but like, well enough, you know, my closest friends knew that I was a roller coaster. But those who didn't who weren't that close in my life to me, just like friends, you know, not like best friends, but just friends. Thought I was the happiest person ever. I know that feeling. And I can end it. What's interesting is that as an intense feeler, I often am the happiest person in a room. But then I can also be like, the absolute. Yes. Like, are like I am so quick to go into. Alright, kill me now. Like just so quick. And I. And it's funny, because when I'm not there, I don't get it. Like, how do you? How could I ever feel that way. But I feel that way, very easily. And I know from experience, like I just need to wait out that feeling. But when you're younger, and you haven't had a lot of life experience, yet having that feeling so often is so crushing. And there were many times when I, you know, wasn't sure I would wait through the feeling and put some plans in place. And I contemplated taking my life so many times. And then when I was 19, it escalated into bipolar type one with mania. And I didn't I didn't know yet at this point, I had been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, add bulimia and insomnia. We can talk about any and all those things. And then it it kind of spiraled into a manic episode with rapid cycling where I was either completely euphoric or completely suicidal and like a two hour span, like completely different. And I believed I was either a superhero here to save the world, or an evil villain sent to destroy the superhero version of myself. Joke's on her, they're not in the same room at the same time. But she did not realize that I was like listening to aliens that were talking to me through headphones that weren't plugged into anything at night, when my roommates slept, I'd stare into a mirror and watch my face change shape. And I a lot of this, I realized later though, was intuitive gifts that I didn't have any context for, because overblown, so like seeing auras became really distracting to me, it was an everything. And I would tell the doctor, it was a thickness in the air because I truly didn't have a sense of what it was. I just thought it's a thickness in the air. And it's very distracting. And so interesting,

Keri Norley 8:16

I have a friend who's whose mother was put into and I think, I want to say brother to very good friend of mine, who's I was put into a mental hospital because they were hearing voices. And so they thought that she was schizophrenic. They thought they were schizophrenic, which would make logical sense for medical diagnosis. My friend is a psychic, she was on psychic TV too. So be like, Look, I hear voices, but that some somehow now I get paid to hear these voices, right.

Marisa Imon 8:43

And that's what bothered me so much at first was that I was told by the doctors like, well, if you were religious or spiritual, then this wouldn't be considered insanity. Like some of the things later some of it really was like, I had no idea where I was the whole, like, there, it really, especially because it's up sleeping for like a couple weeks, like anyone's going to lose touch with reality doing that. And that's kind of a symptom of being manic is not sleeping. So it just exacerbates the whole situation. And I was released into my parents custody after a dear friend like found me with no idea where I was or what I was doing and called my parents. And that's when I was I went through a bunch of testing I remember the doctor suggesting it was schizophrenia. And the look on my dad's face. My parents are so loving and sweet for like two of my best friends. So it was crushing to see how scared that made my dad and so I knew the gravity of the situation. I knew I had to take it seriously. So I was like whatever you need to do, like I'll just give me medications like that's all they suggested. Anyway, I never met a doctor who was like, you could live well with bipolar without medications. Never once did I ever meet a doctor that said that until several years after, I'd already started a lifestyle on that path. I met one who was like, maybe it's possible but like it was, and who knows, maybe I was just a magnet for those people because I, I didn't believe it was possible either. I knew so little I had so little self weird like faith. Yeah, self awareness, self faith. Like, I didn't believe in myself, I thought I was at the mercy

Keri Norley 10:26

of like, mental health, right? Yeah.

Marisa Imon 10:29

So. So the the medications that I eventually landed on, they call it a cocktail, how adorable. I like how also offensive like you're working with a population of people who are more likely to be struggling with addiction, and you give the combination a cute little nickname of cocktail, like someone, whatever doctor came up with, that had a very dark sense of humor. But that's what it was called. And so I think it was like 13 pills a day of seven different kinds. And, you know, like one to wake me up, one to put me to sleep one to help me focus one to keep me from hallucinating like all these things, one to keep my mood stable, all these different things where, if I missed a dose within like, 15 minutes to an hour, I would feel the withdrawal effects. And so I was now I went from being at the mercy of my moods, to being at the mercy of my meds because there was so much to, to deal with all throughout the day. And I was like, I know what saved my life because I really had lost touch with reality. And it got me back to reality. And I'm so thankful for that. But this can't be what the rest of my life looks like. I can't be in fear of my moods or in fear of my meds. So that's when about eight years ago,

Keri Norley 11:44

by sure such a big thing with that, like, in fear. And I want to say because I wanted to, like interject right here, anyone who's listening, that even if you're not bipolar, like if you haven't been classified, like even I've said it on the show, like I've never been officially diagnosed, I can just tell you that by every other person. I've worked with all therapist, all people that I'm working my brain stuff have all said Gary, like, yes, like if I if you were to go in, I'm sure they would tell you, right? You have every symptom all it's all going on, right? And so we're working just the same thing. Like doesn't matter. No, it just matters that we work with this. And the reason that I say this is because even if you're not diagnosed bipolar, even if you have no don't even associate with this, like emotional intensity happens for pretty much all human beings, especially if you're a woman. I mean, men, I would say if men were allowed in the patriarchal society that we live in, we're taught to have a healthy relationship with emotions, they would probably feel the same too. But it takes a little bit longer of a journey for some of our men in the world to like, anchor into emotional intensity in the way that I think we can, like, swing these ways so fast. It's a very, you know, and and I say that because, like listening to this, because it's what I learned so much about, about managing, I would say bipolar, because it is a constant. It's never like, you know, this was something that I really had to drop into is, it's not like it just goes away. Like these symptoms don't just leave like magically like they're gonna be gone. And and I've even watched people on medication, like people I know that are very close to me and family in close to me that are on medication for this and they still do it. I still watch the swings, I still watch the the symptoms happen. I still like medication doesn't all of a sudden, just

Marisa Imon 13:28

it's all the problem either. No, because then they appear to another dose. And then you feel

Keri Norley 13:33

either if you ever, but it's never You Don't Have

Marisa Imon 13:36

you seen it doesn't necessarily give you any things my personal experience, right? Yeah, totally.

Keri Norley 13:40

And so I say this because it doesn't matter what I'm going to say like what spectrum you are in this. We all as humans have emotions that we have to we get to learn to be with. And I think it's the biggest you know, like if we you know, I know you're going to get into this part of the gift, one of the biggest gifts for me has been, ah, I'm okay to feel this. And I'm not wrong for having intense rage right now. I'm not wrong for having intense ecstasy right now. I also don't have to make it mean a damn thing. And it doesn't have to consume my life for months on end, which is where it could have gone in the past. Right

Marisa Imon 14:21

100% And I think that's the big changer for me was shifting from these emotions are quote unquote bad as I was told my whole life, not necessarily explicitly, but by telling me you're too intense. You need to medicate, like, that's also getting in deep into my psychology of being like, you're not good enough if you're feeling intense emotions. So there's a lot of free wiring but the second that I started to shift into, okay, all my life I've run away from feelings of depression, despair, anxiety, and I try to hide them to act like they're not there. What if instead, I simply turned around and looked at them with love. And when I did that, I realized they were all just wounded parts of me wishing I would have hugged them, just like they're like, just like sad crying babies, because they're all just parts of younger me, who every time she felt that way, was told, No, you got a smile now act like it's okay, and didn't know how to handle the emotion. So now they're just like trapped in there. And so it was a almost like having a tea party with all these different parts of me that had felt that way for so long and didn't get a chance to express it. And then in loving them and accepting them and letting them feel what they feel. They didn't last the months on end that they had lasted when I tried to run away from them and hide them. It's like they have their voice. They had their space, and they moved on. I have to do that every single day. Like if I start ignoring a feeling, then it's going to escalate is going to snowball really quickly. So also

Keri Norley 16:01

funny because yesterday I was doing recording and this alarm went off today. So like you guys are listening to recordings. It's the alarm went off to ask me how do I feel? And it's so funny, because it's exactly that, like it's that check in of like, Keri, do you need to deal with your emotions right now? I mean, we do, right? Like, but what is it failing because of that, because right, we can get lost, like we can forget. And then all of a sudden, especially when you live in the world that we do, if you don't check in enough, they get so overwhelming that I can't even decipher. Like I didn't know, I just feel like a train wreck right now. And I got it all going on in my body. Right? And so of course we can learn how to like deal with that, too. But what I'm learning is the more that I check in throughout my day, like how am I feeling? Do I need to do something for myself right now. And I and I almost call it like like this almost like a micromanaging of our of our experiences. So that I am the one who is I don't think I want I don't even want to say I'm in control of it. Because I'm not. But I'm in awareness of it so that I can do something about it. If it's like, ah, actually, I have some like stuff in here. That's frustration that I need to get out. How can I do that? is now on a podcast the appropriate time? No, but

Marisa Imon 17:08

it could be I mean, I'm open, but

Keri Norley 17:13

I'm loving this. But you don't mean like, we can we

Marisa Imon 17:15

can I support all your feelings. So if you ever are.

Keri Norley 17:19

Okay, thank you. And I also love that you said that because I know for me, one of the things that has been such a thing to overcome as to be like I have been shamed for these emotions, right and so much time, if you are and again, it's not even about bipolar, like, if you are an intense feeling human being right, and you have these intense emotions, it can be really a lot and I get it. And I really do get that it can be a lot for the people around us. But that doesn't make me a bad person.

Marisa Imon 17:52

Right. So you touched on two really important things I want to address. One is that you brought up the next level of the work that I haven't even gotten to the base level of work I've done yet, but it's 2021 Let's just dive in because you touched on it. And then to the whole thing about how we're not in this alone. I I'm going to start there because I still am healing like old Marisa like young Marisa, I guess I should say, from the past feeling like who are you to feel this way your life is so good. Don't burden anyone with your feelings. Like you keep that to yourself. And I realized I still have healing to do and that because I went through a really painful like that boulder rolled all the way down into the like the suicidal feelings. Just about a month ago, I was there for a couple days, which is the longest it's been in, in years. And which is beautiful also, by the way, because like oh yeah, it used to last month.

Marisa Imon 18:53

But I I reached out to friends to help me and one of them was like, actually, I'm sure I can give her a shout out we all love Tamar Medford and Rebecca Packard, I actually reached out to both of them and did some emotion code with Rebecca. But Tamar had a great point. She was like, someone once advised her like you never know if you sharing what you're going through isn't exactly what the person you reach out to needed to hear that day to help them with something that they were dealing with or to get them out of their head. If there's a reason why we've attracted interacting with each other, that person was a match for it, you're not going to line up with someone who's not a match for receiving the emotions that you're feeling in one way or another. And one of the very first things in like the rudimentary basic steps of how I started to shift from being heavily medicated and that mercy of moves or meds into being more like a boulder down a steady path most of the time, but not all the time. I was letting my support team know the signs and symptoms that are me going way too far off track. because it used to be that I liked going too far off path that gave me all this energy. And I felt amazing. I learned how to code a website. This is back in like 2005. And like 24 hours, which was insane. Like I had all these quote unquote abilities is what it felt like when I would be euphoric. And I didn't want any off. Yeah, yeah, I did not want to stop it. And I wanted to hide it. But then eventually, I realized that's not what I want. So I got my team in place of loved ones. Back then, when I still was like going into an office, like letting my closest coworkers know that I was about to embark on this journey. And it took me three years of slowly going off of medications while doing the basic work. But now the higher level work that you just touched upon, is like reprogramming my mind my brain, to allow myself moment to moment, and I'm not perfect at it. But throughout the day to be like, What does my body need? What do my emotions need? How can I, you know, do I need to go get a sip of sunshine outside? Do I need to breathe that in? Do I need to have a glass of green tea? Like, what is it that I need right now? And letting myself follow that whatever it looks like, and an honoring myself through that, if it's, I'm feeling really anxious, I feel like everyone hates me or whatever that emotion might be. Instead of being like, bad emotion, how dare you, like, Hey, come on, in. Hey, they're Sweet Emotion. Let's look at this. And let's learn from it. Because here's the thing, we are all boulders on a path, yours and my path is a bit thinner and steeper on either side. But we're all that and what our emotions are that are, you know, the emotions below neutral. I don't like to call them negative because people think that means bad. But the emotions below neutral, are like a rumble strips on the side of the road. Just letting you know, hey, you've gone off track. Your path is one of love, peace, prosperity, well being. That's the path. We're here to tell you. When you've gone off course all those quote unquote, lower emotions are just like, hey, you're starting to go off the cliff. And if we can listen to them and work with them before it becomes, oh, my god, we're all the way at the bottom of the cliff and everything's horrible, then it's so much easier to get right back on that path. And so learning to listen to the second that we start to feel anything below neutral and get curious. Love it, learn from it. Okay, if I think that I'm doing a bad job at X, Y, and Z. Well, that just means I desire to have an amazing outcome. So let me focus on that desired outcome because we're never bothered by something we don't care about. It's just letting us know. We care about that. Let's focus on that instead. And that's the power of emotional intensity because it makes us strong manifester. For a long time, I would manifest pain, despair, discomfort. But when we can work with that intense emotion and reframe it towards our desired outcome and feel the freedom of wanting without resistance of wanting without fear, then our strong intense emotions are are like a hot air balloon we're putting on the hot air and we're going in the right direction super fast.

Keri Norley 23:16

Huh emotional intensity helps us to become amazing manifester.

Marisa Imon 23:22

When it's not even that it helps us because it can hinder us to write the stronger we feel about something the more that's all we can see. So for for when right drop down into those suicidal times. All I can see is how horrible I am how worthless I am there's nothing else I can possibly see because that's not what I'm a match for. It's a slower climb back up and and that's why it first of all, it's okay that it is there's nothing wrong with it we can learn from it. But then once we do get back up into a more like neutral path, that's why honoring every little tiny lower emotion as quickly as possible is so important. So we don't keep manifesting those things in the lower end of the emotional scale.

Keri Norley 24:08

I love it it's interesting because when you when I asked you and I want and I love for you to talk about this too but I asked you about like his you talk about how it became your gift right how this has become a gift for you. When I hear you say that for me the gift in this like and I haven't really considered it until this moment the gift in it for me. It is a connection right I think it can go both ways the gift I mean the agony of it and to begin with when we're unaware of it is the disconnection right i mean that's ultimately what when we swing from these places we're so disconnected from anything yet right like we get taken into the depths of shit we get taken up into the highs but we're so disconnected and oftentimes looking outside of ourselves for the reassurance for the love that didn't enough for all these things for needs to be met. That we end up falling and swinging into these different places and and the looping thoughts Write this was something that was fascinating to me to write like the looping thoughts that tell you all the nastiest things that happen in your head and that we can't get out of our head. Again, that's a disconnection because when I started connecting to it, I was like, Oh, I hear you. You don't need to talk to me anymore. Right? I know that thought, I hear what you're saying to me. But actually, that's not empowering me right now. So you can go in sit over there. And I'm starting to learn, right? What are my what are my ways of making not making of having those not control me anymore, and being able to choose a different way. And so in that, like, the Empowered place of this is I am deeply connected to all my feelings, all my thoughts, all these things, because if I do not connect into myself, it takes me somewhere that I don't want to go. Times

Marisa Imon 25:45

the emotions don't that those thoughts those, as Rob God has called them our greatest hits that are on repeat. Yes, musician. So it's like, what I like to do is take them by the hand, because it's always from a broken, not broken. That's a misnomer. But it's always from a time in my childhood, where I felt hurt, and I didn't feel heard. So now that voice is coming up, and it's becoming a greatest hit. And so I let it know, hey, I love you so much. It's like I take it by the hand and go, that was then let's look at where we are now. And it's like, I show her Hey, here's the truth. We are loved. We are supported, we are encouraged, you're safe to feel. It's like I'm taking all those things from my past and becoming their their mother, which I really am. And I hold them and I show them the light and let them know, dear darling, look at how much has changed. And then that way when they come up again, like Oh, sweetie, like, I can giggle with them. Like, oh, you cutie No, no, no, remember, and then I show them again, here's what's here's what's real. And for anyone who's listening, who knows, like hiking experiences, there's the deer pads where deer go through the woods, and it's so thin, you can hardly see the Pap. And then there's a logging trail where it's wide and logging trucks go down it and it's so easy to walk down. My brain was like, full of logging trails of self hatred, thoughts, and tiny deer paths of self love. But the more I did that work of like, oh, sweet self hatred, thought like, let's let me hold your hand. Let me love you and let you know what's true. The more we went down those deer paths that eventually became the logging trails. And the logging trails of self hatred eventually became little tiny deer paths that I find myself down every now and then. And then I'm like, we fell off track. I'm gonna take myself

Keri Norley 27:41

back later on.

Marisa Imon 27:45

I do get lost easily.

Keri Norley 27:48

Again, that's why that's why the connection, right? Like we can, it's so easy. I mean, let's be honest, it's a world of distraction everywhere we go. So it's easy doesn't matter, you know, to get distracted. Okay, so just to kind of want to sum this into like to bring back to the story. So ultimately, I know that you ended up going through this amazing process that brought you from being fully reliant on medical drugs to use pharmaceuticals to be able to cope with your day to now I don't think you're on any.

Marisa Imon 28:20

No, but I mean, I'm not like I've never been anti medications that say, like, and I take like, you know, ibuprofen and like stuff like that when I need it. So but yeah, nothing for bipolar.

Keri Norley 28:31

Amazing. So this is and this is a good one to come into. So I talked about like, why I couldn't see what is my gift now. Please share, like so how did this become your your gift?

Marisa Imon 28:43

Well, it's funny because I didn't realize this until right before we recorded that one of the ways it was my gift is that it forced me to focus on me. I had been in nonprofit work that I loved, I loved the I oversaw youth program. I loved the youth, I loved the staff. But I wasn't taking care of myself and my emotional needs will actually I just started to and I knew I needed more time to myself every day. And because I recognized that to do this, well, I basically would become like my own full time job. I did everything I could to get to that point. And so that's kind of an aspect of it. That's a gift because I don't know if the urgency would have been on me to make the shift sooner. But because it forces me to do exactly what you were saying I can't disconnect I have to stay connected and feel because when I do disconnect, I'm a boulder rolling downhill real fast. So so that gift of forcing me to have to be connected to me, because otherwise I can get so out of hand so quickly. It's it's been a gift in terms of really requiring In more direct attention inward, direct, connecting inward. And it also helps me with guidance, you know, I can feel really easily, you know, I'm still learning to always listen to it. But I can feel when something doesn't feel right, because I feel things. So it's also helpful for guidance, every time I have anxiety, I know, it's just because I strongly desire a positive outcome. So it helps me keep re shifting, keep refocusing on what I want. Because the pain just means I have a strong desire for its opposite. And that is the gift. Like, if you know what you don't want, and you have the anxiety and pain from that, then beautiful, thank you pain and anxiety, you've helped me gain more clarity on what I do want.

Keri Norley 30:51

So beautiful, it's interesting that you put it in this perspective, but I have said for because my, my career in this in this industry started in in massage work. And so for me, like, you know, I'm very much into the embodiment. And from there, like, I would help my clients all the time around, overcoming even like intense chronic pain that they'd seen every practitioner, and I was just like, Yeah, but you know, what's your body telling you? Right? Because nobody actually asked this question. Right? What's your body telling you? Like, because I can't make if you've been through neck sometimes, and I get this, like, you know, there's there's a mix. And you know, I think ultimately for me, everything comes from our mental, spiritual, emotional aspects, and then lands into the body for the body to tell us something. Right, and then we create this this sign or this quote, unquote, symptom, right? Yeah, the body to speak to us. Yeah, that we listen, and we don't listen. It gets worse and worse, and worse and worse, until you cannot not listen anymore. Right. And then I have this chronic pain.

Marisa Imon 31:53

It's in the body. No, sorry. I'm not trying to. Okay. Okay, good. I love that. We're both just so excited.

Keri Norley 31:59

So I'll finish there really quick. And so I was like, to me, like what you're saying to me, and I it's funny, because I don't really know that I associated it in the same way with this, which is very interesting. So very interesting moment here. But like, it's that same concept that like the anxiety you know, I think for so long, I did ignore it. Or it was like a, it was a something I didn't like it just was there constantly, you know, and now like you said, like it comes in. I'm like, Who? Hello? Well, hello, friends, I feel you. What are you telling me today? What do I need to do? Because generally you do not leave, like what I have learned after having lived with it for in my body for years and years and years and years and years, more than more than you know not. I was like, wait, I actually don't need to have you in my body all the time. You're telling me something? What are you telling me? Is it that right now in this moment? I need to take a breath. Is it because I'm not paying attention to this thing? Or is it because someone's doing this to me? Is it because dah dah dah dah dah dah, dah? Ah, where am I not taking care of myself right now that you're speaking to me. You know, and it's a really interesting thing. Like when we can start to build that relationship with our bodies. They're constantly telling us things and so often we want to ignore them or take the pill or you know, and again, when I I'm not adverse to having some pain meds, my headaches can tell you that. But even then, like, even before I take it, I'll be like, so what are you saying to me right now? Right? Why am I creating myself right now? Like, I still have a conversation with it. And then sometimes I'm like, and thank you, I do not need to go down the hole of that horrible migraine that's gonna take me into a black hole. Thank you.

Marisa Imon 33:35

Exactly. And who cares about all the Tylenol you take in the world if you don't listen to the message, because as you said, it will progress. And it's so funny. You mentioned the massage because I just got one yesterday, and there's always been a spot in my lower back that makes me giggle when someone massages it. And I realized I had a low back injury when I also tend depression that same year. And it was kind of a silly accident. I put a exercise ball in my parents bed and jumped on it. And then like flipped off and landed and my mom was so cute, but like, at 10 I already was comfortable with her saying super morbid things because she's like so peppy, but she'll be like, you're gonna die any minute. Like she runs upstairs and she's like, Marisa don't move, you're paralyzed. And like I was even at 10 I was laughing even though I was in so much pain, like you're this is over the top. But I realized like laughter was a lot of how I got through a lot of the pain that I didn't know how to process. And I told that story while he was massaging the part that made me giggle and the giggles went away. It was like it was like little Marisa finally got recognized that like she was holding on to some tension there in a way that was manifesting as as laughter which is really interesting how the body holds on to things but I held up my finger while we were talking earlier, my pointer finger on my left hand which is my dominant hand. I've had a sore knuckles for a while and I like to get curious like body What are you telling me? And I, I haven't been able to quite understand like I I'll try to receive what the guidance is, but I think I'm I have been questioning if it was accurate guidance, and then I was chopping sweet potatoes and chopped off. I don't know, close your ears if you're a little squeamish. I'll be okay. But I chopped up part of the tip of my finger. And I was like, okay, clearly, you're not going to let me go like the the Healey was helping my joints a lot, I could hardly bend it. And now I can bend it almost all the way because of the Healey but, but my body was like you're not getting off. So easy. We're trying to tell you something. And then I realized it has to do with balance. And what happens is that the better I get every year at like living well with this, the less my body will let me get away with things I used to do the less it's like you know better now. So you can't go back to ignoring a second of anything.

Keri Norley 36:04

Like hyper hyper cute hyper your intuitive. Yeah, like

Marisa Imon 36:08

the more I move along this path, the less I can get away with ignoring how I feel. And I've realized the summer I had a lot of energy. And I had like, like, I'm working on a documentary, I'm working on a show, I'm working on a new business, I'm working, like I had all these ideas, and I was loving it. And I didn't recognize that as the boulder rolling down to the right, traveling towards mania because it didn't get that far. But I realized when it swung so low the other way, just how out of balance, I'd allowed myself to become by the lewer of like feeling all that energy. And so really, I discovered that this finger ties to balance. And that was the message for me is like, the more you get balanced, the more this fingers going to heal. So I just I gotta stay that boulder on my course. Mm hmm.

Keri Norley 37:11

Beautiful. Okay, so boulder on course, your boulder took you to music? Yeah, can you share so by the way Marisa has if you guys seriously go check out her podcast incandescent because she has like minute meditations. She actually writes If you want, you know, music that's written for you to use for interest or podcasts to use for meditation and other people in here who are in the healing space, you can reach out to Marisa, she has awesome experience and being able to do these things for you and make them for you. And I think she probably even has some that are already you can even just buy premade Yep. But so how did you get into this like, and how has that helped you? Yeah, talk about it, like, how has it helped you? And also like, how has that helped you? Like? How have you been able to take this entire experience of your life, which has been for both of us a big deal in our lives, right? And make it into this positive thing that has helped you create an abundant, amazing experience of life.

Marisa Imon 38:11

Right. And I think I want to point out, it's not always a positive thing, but it is more so than often. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just don't want anyone listening. I think I've made it clear that I do have my downs. But I never want someone to think oh, like it goes away, then you're perfect. But when I right now, I'm like what growth would we have also

Keri Norley 38:35

been, again, we're just human like, you're this, regardless of any mental health issues we are hearing. Oh,

Marisa Imon 38:41

true. But when I was a kid, like songwriting was my therapy, especially because I felt like I had to hide how I felt I would get everything out in music. And I, like my senior project was performing a concert of original songs I had written, I cared so deeply about music and performing. But a lot of the feedback I got was like, you know, you're a great songwriter, but you're really not a great singer. Like maybe just like focus on songwriting, but then also like, maybe don't focus on it and just let it be a hobby. Like, you know, no one makes it at this fun message we get when our kids dream big, but not too big, because you're gonna fail. So like I was just surrounded by that message. And so I was like, Okay, fine. It's my greatest passion in life, but I'll just ignore it and do the right thing quote unquote, and go to

Keri Norley 39:37

depression people this is a bad idea. People

Marisa Imon 39:43

not only did I ignore my, my passion of music, I mean, I would play you know, the odd show here and there at a bar or something. But it wasn't a big part of my life, let alone my career like it is now. And I even got to the point where I was in a Relationship with a musician. And he never heard a song that I wrote for the whole, I think we were together like almost two years. Like I just, I supported him and like lost sight of who I was completely for other reasons too, like I was still heavily medicated at this point and not had very little things figured out. And I ignored music. And finally, when I reached that point where I was looking at, alright, I'm not going to live at the mercy of my moods, I'm not going to live at the mercy of my meds, what do I need to do to live a different path? Part of that was listen to your desires, like there's a reason that you have them. And when we don't listen to them, we feel a lot more pain. If we're like, oh, yeah, I hear you desire, but you're just gonna have to wait. That age is us that causes at least me personally causes so much extra pain. And at this point in my life, I know that if I'm going to live well with this, I can't do anything that's going to be welcoming in extra pain, like watching some something on TV that I know is only going to make me feel worse, or like going into, like, if it's not necessary, Why invite that in. And the same goes with music for me, because that was my passion. And ignoring it just brought pain. So I started getting back into it with no inkling that it could ever do anything besides just make me happy to play. And, yeah, it's pretty amazing to know, know that it was on one of the number one shows on Netflix.

Keri Norley 41:35

It's amazing. And there was another Didn't you have something recently was so I can't remember who it was that you were on her ad. So rather

Marisa Imon 41:43

than was in an ollie ad that I got. Used it. That's

Keri Norley 41:48

right. That's amazing. But it was Rebel Wilson. That's true. That's right. I

Marisa Imon 41:52

love Rebel Wilson. Sure, she has no idea who I am. But my music was in the background of an ad she acted in. So that feels incredible.

Keri Norley 42:01

Amazing. It's amazing. Um, and so how has that like, how has this helped you? To take again to take this? I think something that can be incredibly debilitating for people and it was for me,

Marisa Imon 42:16

oh, yeah, right. Oh, debilitating. Yeah, I got fired for it because of it. From a job. I

Keri Norley 42:21

was like, I mean, unless you want to start down the path. I was like, Man, I know these things in my head. Like why am I having so much trouble doing the thing I know so well. If this is why I help other people with why am I not able to like shift through some of these things? Oh, that's why right. Got it. So how have you taken that and turned it into like this? You know, like the manifestation part right? How have you used this and the emotional intensity just talking about that like the emotional intensity and strategies to live with it not only that, but just ride and create manifestation with it.

Marisa Imon 42:57

So it's interesting because this answer is actually evolving right now. Partially because of my finger. But for me, I'm not using it like I used to so the initial answer was every time I felt a lower emotion to then get clarity on okay, well what desire does that have for you? I have a seven part journaling practice that I do.

Keri Norley 43:20

Are you in a journal on this, don't

Marisa Imon 43:22

you? I do have a journal on Amazon. Yeah, for like anytime you have a lower emotion what to do with it to ship called the fun journal F un for feelings under neutral. And I actually think I have unworthiness listed twice for emotions that I need to fix that typo. But it's like so fitting like, how many of us feel that to like double A? Yeah, well change that. No, I haven't because it feels like it can need to be circled twice sometimes. But it starts by just welcoming the emotions into the conversation. Welcome them in without shaming them, right? Like we're already feeling bad. Why make ourselves feel worse? Just like, Okay, if you're already part of me, come on out. What do you got going on? And I think that's something else too. Like we treat the emotions, like they're not part of us, like, oh, how dare you thought? How dare you? Whatever. It's like, No, this came from us. So we might as well love it and respect it and work with it instead of running away from it or working against it. So the next step would be to get clear on okay, if I'm jumping forward, the next few steps would be to get clear on okay, if I'm afraid that my recording I'm working on right now isn't going to come out that great, then I must have a strong desire for a song that's going to uplift people around the world. And then I just focus on that desire. I'm like, Thank you anxiety, for helping me gain clarity on this really awesome desire. And then every time I feel the anxiety moving forward, I go thank you. And I go right back to the desire because that's all it is. It's the rumble strip saying Hey, go back to the road and the road is those beautiful outcomes. And so then I would focus on those beautiful outcomes, and use my emotional intensity to feel them in my body. Where this is evolving now. And to feel like it's happening now. And to just live there as often as I can throughout the day, every time an emotion below neutral would pop up, I'd be like, Oh, thank you shift into the good feeling and feel that as long as intensely as I could. But now with this whole thing with balance, and I'm realizing, if I just stay in like a really, like, just generally happy chill, feeling like a neutral feeling. I don't need but like, yeah, neutral, but like, content, yeah, like a little above, yeah. Then things just unfold. And I don't have to worry about like, the universe already has my order. The second I have the desire, it is there in the non physical ready for me to line up with it. And as long as I don't do the thing that slows me down, like focusing on my fears and anxieties, and I'm just like, chill and trusting and knowing it's working out, then I can stay that boulder on the path without going too far into the intensity of like, oh, this feeling feels so good. Oh, like, because really how I want to feel isn't that any way how I want to feel centered? And like, it's just all working out. So that's what I'm currently using. It's not even emotional intensity for at this point. It's like, I had to know those two so that I could discover what the middle the absence of them is. Yeah,

Keri Norley 46:32

it's a funny thing. I know, years ago, I had a mentor who once said to me, this was you it was quite a few three or four years ago. And she said to me, she's like, carry even when you are an ecstatic dance. Right? Which is literally designed for ecstasy, right? But even when you're at a place like ecstatic dance, how can you still be neutral, and not neutral? Like we're like, avoiding, because that can also feel like neutral, but like neutral, like, I can actually just be present in myself and have peace within presence, and also know that I am in ecstasy, but my body doesn't go. Right? Because the ecstasy can feel like such an intense high. Right? And so that it's like the I think in and I get, you know, like, so any type of emotional intensity, you know, and I look at this, I love that you said this because I look at things like the secret or like the law of attraction type stuff. And so many people are like, go be in the vibration. But people take that to exactly that, like the high emotion but if we're in these highs has to come along, like our bodies do this, like it doesn't it will swing, if we cannot find somewhere for our bodies to be like it's okay. For me to actually know that I am in ecstasy right now, without being like, oh my god, I'm exhausted with the energy that I'm putting out. By being noisy.

Marisa Imon 47:55

I'm an attentional with emotions and vibrations. The more I experience because yeah, at the beginning of exploring law of attraction, I was trying to just feel the feeling and I, I would have like it, like manic manifesting, you know?

Keri Norley 48:11

Yeah, totally manic manifestation.

Marisa Imon 48:13

But now, it's like, I'm getting more of the things I've always wanted. And when they come the feeling of them coming doesn't feel like that manic excitement. It feels like course. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Thank you. Right. Like, yep. And you would I would have thought years ago if I got the things I have now. But I would have been like dancing and like, oh my god and like sometimes I still like am like oh University are amazing. And I'll like cry tears of appreciation. But that'll even just be for like a beautiful leaf, you know, but like, the things I always wanted now just feel like of courses, which is a completely different vibration than oh my god, that's amazing.

Keri Norley 48:56

Right? Of course, like and it sustainably has to be Yeah,

Marisa Imon 49:00

it's sustainable. Yeah, that's like

Keri Norley 49:01

I think of it like is our body is this channel and the more clear the channel, the more that we can bring through from the high down to the, into the body. Like, you know, I think this is one of the biggest problems with manifestation is that most people sit and think and dream and they put it out there. They put it outside of you. Right? It's already it's already outside. It's it's already the universe has

Marisa Imon 49:26

your order is like when I say

Keri Norley 49:28

universe has your right like we don't have to tell it what you want.

Marisa Imon 49:30

You already know. It already knows.

Keri Norley 49:33

But like you still need to bring into your body. You still need to bring it into the physical reality and if you leave it out there for the universe to take care of. After time, you probably just ignored what the universe literally landed in front of your face and didn't actually pick up because it actually gave you it. But then you if you if you bring it into your body, you give your body space to bring it through and your body becomes the container for it to be held in. Then that's that's when the app Magical manifestations, the of coarseness that every day like, it just gets to be this way happens. But it's because you've created the space in your body for it to land into your body. And when we run all of these emotions simultaneously, up and down all around, we don't have the spaciousness in our bodies to hold it.

Marisa Imon 50:20

That's so true. I love the point that your friend or teacher made about neutrality, because what you're saying, really, it's it's like hard to articulate if you haven't felt it. But what you're describing is also that feeling it's like that spacious feeling of connecting with the fullness of who you are, and feeling that energy within and around you and how that it's like, you're a home. Yeah, you've said the word vessels. That's really, it's, I don't know how to articulate the feeling, but you are describing it much better than I am. And I

Keri Norley 50:57

wrote describing it. It's, it's, you know, and I think, I think it's something that people just enough work with your emotions, enough work with body and when I work with embodiment, it just becomes something. And I know for me, like you said, I love how you actually described like, there's the bulldozer path, and then there's the deer path, right? So for a long time, it was the deer path. And I'm like, wait a minute, I think and even just more recently, right, I actually did a podcast a few weeks ago, it's on that it's on the podcast already about a cabo journey that I just did about a month ago. And one of the biggest lessons for me this camo journey, I actually wasn't two days, like out of three days, camo can be quite a productive thing be quite an intense, like a lot of, it's pretty intense for most people to go through. And when they put the frog, they can go on to the frog poison onto my, onto myself. I for two days of it, I went into complete peace. And I was like, the thoughts that went through me were like, Oh, my gosh, I have this poison that's running through me. That's for healing. Right? I'm not poisoning myself people because you didn't hear the whole story. Right? That's for healing. And I feel at peace. So like, if I can have my body feel at peace in this moment, where else can I feel at peace? Right? When the world is in chaos? Can my body feel at peace? When all of my emotions are going crazy? Can I still feel at peace? Because all of that really is toxicity? Right? Like, what it's all like going crazy. And we're just taking it all in like it can be and especially because half the time the emotions I'm feeling are not mine anyway. They're like, this person is that person, this person that a digital, and we feel especially as empaths because I'm sure that you can relate to that one too, right?

Marisa Imon 52:42

My Human Design is an emotional open, undefined center.

Keri Norley 52:46

I am an undefined center and emotional as well. And I live with some very strong defined emotional,

Marisa Imon 52:52

and all my life, my best friends and family.

Keri Norley 52:56

My husband, were just talking about changing his schedule. And I was like, I really like being out of the house for two days, because he's he's got the closed emotional center. I'm like, I need my space. I don't want to feel people today.

Marisa Imon 53:08

So much easier to take care of myself having space every day to myself, like I've been, there's some steps I have to do. Yeah.

Keri Norley 53:17

Like, I know, he's like, I could just listen to us or somebody. I'm like, no, no, no. You are outside. Nowhere near me. But we're learning like I like I was really proud of myself for stating that. Because I was like, This is what keeps me sane, is being able to have a place where I don't have to feel other people all the time. And I can come home to feel myself like what do I feel like, if I'm not feeling everybody else? And I'm not taking everybody's emotions on and I can just be me. Hmm. Okay, this is the natural place I can live in. And if I can live in this here, I can also live in this while everybody else is around, or find ways to decompress throughout the day to make sure that I'm not but like, in the meantime, that is it can be a really toxic experience and not necessarily mean it can be happiness. It's not necessarily that it's a bad thing. I say that toxicity, but like it's other stuff that's entering our field that isn't our own. Yep. Right. And so if we can do that, at any given point in time, I think that's becomes like the epicness to me of where the more and more and more that I drop into this. The more amazingly I am looked after.

Marisa Imon 54:30

Mm hmm yes, we

Keri Norley 54:31

have been looked after in old fucking ways.

Marisa Imon 54:38

The word that I've been hearing lately is revered like when I revere myself, I am revered. And I'm, I feel that Huh?

Keri Norley 54:50

Hmm, oh my gosh, I can talk to you forever. Okay. I know. But I know we have to go I know the time's up. I know you have to go I have to get going. Have I actually have for those of you who are listening And I have my last call for my new wealth from crypto experience, which is my defi training that I'm doing. So we are talking today about inheritance planning for crypto. So cool. Sounds a little bit boring, but it's really frickin important if you want to know actually how to find your money. Yeah, very important. So about to wrap up to go into that today. But please, Mercer, like, let us know if there's anything you want to share as like a final wrap up of this. And then let everybody know where they find you how they can reach out how they can get journals, how they can get more music, meditation for you all the things because you're such an amazing, amazing person, just go and meet Marisa Period, end of story

Marisa Imon 55:42

thing. Back at you, thank you, I think the final wrap up I want to make sure that I really hit home is that no emotion is bad. Nothing we feel is bad. There's nothing wrong with us for feeling anything. And that messaging that we've received, it's just that it's just some phony messaging, we've picked up no big deal. In the future. If I could encourage anything, it would be that you now as a listener here, like hear your emotion or feel your emotion, hear that voice in your head? And instead of going, What can I do to ignore this? How can I, you know, shut up you. Or whatever we do. Instead of doing that, like, Hey, do your darling, welcome to the table. And identify that it probably is something from like when you were seven that really hurt you and you never got to process and love and hold that version of you. And that way it can escape it cannot escape, but it can kind of process move through you. And now every time in the future that you feel it, it now just becomes this like, Oh, how cute like it's it's coming back up. No big deal. Dear Darling, let's look at the truth. And use that fear to get more clear on the loving desires. And that's all it is. It's just rumble strips keeping us on track. And I have so many resources for free. I'd like a whole year long free meditation superhero program so you can feel like a superhero with your emotional intensity. So just Marisa iman.com. And they are isI mo n.com.

Keri Norley 57:18

Awesome. And your podcast is incandescent. So make sure and go and like that subscribe to that have fun listening into that. She does meditations and all sorts of things on there all the time. And I love that there's like a minute one if you want to have a minute one. They're seasonal ones. There's sometimes longer ones. It's amazing. Amazing. Amazing. So go and check that out. Thank you my dear, thank you. Thank

Marisa Imon 57:39

you well worth the wait. was well worth the wait. Everything perfect timing.

Keri Norley 57:46

Okay, I did it wrong. Never, never, never. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all that you be all that you are doing in this world. Thank you for helping people to live with emotional intensity in the most phenomenal way and turn it into a gift you are a gift to the planet and I have had an absolute pleasure being on the call with you tonight.

Marisa Imon 58:03

Me to back at you Keri. Thank you so much.

Keri Norley 58:07

My pleasure. My pleasure everyone else. We'll see you next week on the next podcast episode. Until then have a great week.