IS IT TIME FOR YOU TO CREATE BOUNDARIES ON THE “FRIEND” SPACE?
I don’t know about you, but for me… a mindset and energy alignment coach for over 12 years… I know a thing or two around human behaviour and quite simply… whether I’m talking to a friend or client… if someone is really not backing themselves or has created barriers to their success, I will often call them on it.
Today… something was brought to my attention that I want to talk about which many people can have problems within the coaching business… attracting “friends” who want to connect, but really… you end up coaching them.
When I first started coaching… that happened a lot. Then I learned… don’t coach my friends. But of course, sometimes I can’t help myself. And on occasion with good friends, I’ll ask if they want me to dig deeper or share where I think they are not looking. But depending on the “friend” and level of friendship… I often keep my mouth shut.
And of course… With my #soulsister friends… it’s assumed that we will BOTH call each other on the BS stories getting told. That’s the friendship.
But what about those people who turn up in your life and want to be your “friend”, but really… they are a client. What do you do with them?
They may message you saying that they love catching up, as friends, and do you want to connect again? They may just start messaging you asking your opinion or thoughts on something. And think to yourself… when is the last time they added to your life… they filled up YOUR cup? If you feel it’s a one-sided “friendship”… you can CHOOSE to set a boundary around the conditions of the relationship.
Especially because people send me messages asking about the numerology of something, feng shui of something, etc… “one-off” questions that pop up every now and then… I used to answer them all. And then I finally got to the point where I said NO. If you want my expertise, you can pay me. Truly… if it’s a one-off thing… I often will respond.. but if the one-off becomes multiple questions… I suggest that we have a session so that you can receive the benefits of the magic.
And today… I’m thinking about those “friends” who want to connect… but I know that I end up coaching them… they are in person and online… and quite honestly…. I tend not to do it anymore. My time is precious. I can hang with my family, do my mindset work, walk around the lake, write content, shoot videos, get paid by my clients, plan a holiday.. SO many ways I can spend my time… then coaching for free.
But first… you must become AWARE that this is even happening to you because so often it happens and you don’t realise it. You may even leave the conversations BUZZING… because ultimately… you love what you do and you love helping people… your vibes are getting raised by hanging with this person but over time… it will drain you… and you will look around and wonder why you have collected a lot of friends to coach for free… and you are not making any money but the people around you are getting results. This… is not what you want.
You want a thriving BUSINESS, right? Where people PAY you for the privilege of getting close to you… of being in your energy field, of your expertise. You have a gift to share… you have incredible work to do in order to achieve your dreams and calling of being a person for change… helping make this world a better place by shining your light and allowing others to do the same. In order to do that and be ABUNDANT… you GET TO say NO to these people. As a matter of fact… YOU MUST.
If you allow yourself to be surrounded by a bunch of “friends” that you are coaching… you will drain your energy so that you don’t have it in you to do the work you are meant to do and GET PAID ABUNDANTLY for. So draw a line in the sand… Say NO to the people who want you but aren’t willing to PAY for you… and allow the ones who WANT to pay for you… are meant to help you be in your abundant flow to SHOW UP. Allow yourself to be in the magical flow of abundance.
Of course.. in order to draw that line in the sand… first, you get to VALUE YOURSELF enough to say NO to that which DOESN’T serve you and YES to that which does. And of course… you also get to become aware that this is even happening in the first place.
I’m curious… take a moment and look around your life and make note of all the people in your world who are getting you for “free” and how much that is taking from you energetically and of your TIME. And start to put boundaries on your time that are not breakable, because you know how much you can do or create with the time and energy you SAVE by not helping that person FOR FREE… and allowing yourself to receive the abundance you are worthy of and deserve instead.
Please share below in the comments… Do you have some boundaries to put in place? Can you see the people who are your “friends” that really get to be clients? What are you going to do about that? Let me know.. 
AND OF COURSE… if you want help breaking this pattern and creating your abundant flow of clients, work, and all that you desire in life… Be in touch about working with me one on one. I’m currently taking on 3 new one on one clients. If it’s time to re-wire your thinking about the way you do life and business… and start to create a life of 100% FUCK YES alignment… then join me.
Original Date Written: February 18, 2018
