What is your Erotic Blueprint? with Lea Newman

Keri Norley 

On this episode of the wealth Alchemist podcast, I have Lea Newman on the show with me. Leah was living what she thought was her dream life and realize she was miserable. And on this show, we talk about how she turned it around. She talks about what to do to unstuck yourself including using the erotic blueprints. What does erotic blueprints mean? How can you use your blueprint info to help with increasing your sales, attracting more wealth and abundance into your life and more. We also talk about how you can bring the sexy back into your relationship. If you are in a relationship and not having sex as often as you would like she's got some great tips for you in here. This show is dripping wet with juicy content. So here's the turning your pleasure up please enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome to this episode of the wealth Alchemist podcast. My name is Keri Norley and today I have the pleasure of having Lee Newman on the show with me. We already started a conversation which led us to like hit Play record because this conversation is gonna get heated, juicy, vulnerable, real raw. And I'm super duper excited. I have been scrolling through your Facebook page and your feeds and all these things. I gotta say, Lee, like, emanates this juicy pleasure open, vulnerable ecstatic woman and Oh, Lia sorry. Um, and we and I'm so excited to have her on the show to talk about bringing sexy back to your life. And we're going to talk about she does erotic blueprint and unsticking yourself, and I'm really excited to see how all of this as well plays into money and wealth. It will tell you a little bit more about her. She is a former high performance coach for Tony Robbins. Leah helps busy women overcome the cycles of exhaustion and overwhelm so they can live lives of dripping with pleasure. She is an erotic blueprint master trainer, the founder of unstuck yourself a certified accelerated evolution practitioner, and a life transformation coach. As a Jill of all trades and master of many she draws from multiple modalities and frameworks to help her clients in the areas of self care, sexuality, intimacy, abundance and health. Her life changing one on one work and group coaching membership and courses help her clients break free from burnout living on autopilot in survival mode, so they can love themselves more and thrive in all areas of life. Yeah, I'm so excited even when I say your name, right. But this so I am so excited for this conversation. Thank you for being here.

 

Lea Newman 

Absolutely. Thanks for having me. This is gonna be fun.

 

Keri Norley 

It is like we literally started and you guys, I hadn't done this erotic blueprint thing. So she was like, you have to go and do it. And so we've been having like a chat as I'm going through giggling at the answers that I've had. So let's just start off with a little bit like how did you tell us a little bit about what you're doing in the world? And how did you get here like, and one of the things that I will say one of the things that I love about the pieces of your story that I've heard have been from coming from this place of having, quote unquote, success, and realizing that you were actually miserable. And I and I have felt that like I have definitely I know so many people, it's like you wake up one day and you're like, Wait, I've created so much of everything I desire, but this feels yuck. And this isn't actually what I thought it would be. And so I'd love to hear a little bit about like that part of your story and how it got you into all this erotic blueprint and, and money archetypes.

 

Lea Newman 

Yeah, sure. So I guess I would say I'll kind of hit the fast board but the fast forward button to the kind of the moment where I had that kind of awakening moment. And you know, I was in the military. I was married. I was on track, you know to hit Some really great ranks. I was getting all these awards and everything. And I was burnt out. And so I looked, I looked up one day, and realize that this is not the life that I actually imagine for myself. Right? Like I was living by everybody else's shoulds. And so my air quotes success was really what they wanted for me. And it had nothing to do with what I wanted from me. And so for me that that's what really started the deep dive into personal development. You know, I started like most people with books and tapes and things like that. Yes, cassette tapes, hello. And I started there, and eventually made my way to a Tony Robbins event that was quite transformational. And the road from there has it? I have no words, I have no words. It's been quite the journey. And somewhere along the way, you know, I actually got a call from Tony Robbins company asking me if I would like to coach for them. Well, because I had been to all the events. I had a coaching certification already, and I spoke Chinese. As you can imagine, three things all together, not quite, not terribly common. And they asked me to join their team. So I got to work there for three years. It was a great transition out of the Air Force and into what is now my amazing life. Right. I worked for Tony for three years, and then I set off on my own and created unstuck yourself. And it's been quite the journey. When I found Jaya Ma and the creator of erotic blueprints. You know, I was working for Tony at the time. And I couldn't understand why like, I'm like, Come on, I'm doing all the things like audio

 

Keri Norley 

with me,

 

Lea Newman 

right? Why am I still not happy? Why am I still not fulfilled in my life? What the heck? And so, yeah, I signed on to work with Jaya and massively transformational and I became a coach like simultaneously like I was working with her and going through the coaches course at the same time. And this is the thing, sexualities, like the final frontier, for most of us. It's the last rock you look under, because it's the most vulnerable and the most vulnerable. Ah, yeah. And what I love about the erotic blueprints is it makes a very challenging subjects. fun, playful, little titillating. It creates a safe space for you to explore what's going on.

 

Keri Norley 

So with erotic blueprints, what what does that actually mean? What is that?

 

Lea Newman 

What are the erotic blueprint is? Okay. Um, so is it okay, if I just kind of introduce the blueprints? Yeah, listeners. Sure. So the erotic blueprints are a typing system. It's kind of like if you've ever heard of the love languages? Yeah. Which is, it's kind of like that, except for sex, passion and intimacy. Mm hmm. So the very first one is the energetic blueprint, energetic blueprints are turned on by space T's and anticipation. what's really awesome about them is they can actually have orgasms without even being touched across the room, they can feel their partners in that deep connection. Some of the shadow though, unfortunately, is if they receive contact too quickly, before they're ready for it, making sometimes shut down. And they can panic and almost disassociate and kind of leave their body a little bit. I like to also share kind of an example of the types of kisses that each of the blueprints in theory, okay guard, because I think that is like, I think we all have kind of a visceral response to thinking about that, right? Energetic kiss is one of two different kinds. It's the kind that like, hovers and lingers, not actually kissing, but like going in for the kiss, but like hovering as you enter, or as you pull away. I personally am a big fan of folds away.

 

Keri Norley 

I'm like the gym. I'm like, oh, that's hurts me.

 

Lea Newman 

Yes, energetic touch might look like hovering your hand over body parts, like I can. As I'm hovering my hand right now for my wrist. I can. I can already feel the presence of my hand on my wrist. Totally. Another type of energetic touches like a really light tickling touch favorite. Yeah, little ticularly touch. So just For all the listeners listen to her comments and guess what? Her blueprint so that's the blueprint. The second blueprint is the sensual blueprints, sensual blueprints have a ginormous capacity for pleasure because they are turned on by all of the senses. So, essential bleep blueprint, I often kind of playfully explain like if you walk into a Central's bedroom, you're going to know it because it's like everything is

 

Keri Norley 

there's crystals everywhere. There's feathers, there's lights for the candlelight, there's

 

Lea Newman 

Yeah, candles, they're soft blankets, lots of pillows. Everything's, uh huh. Very cool. Um,

 

Keri Norley 

you might maybe have heard lightning, right?

 

Lea Newman 

But you might also hear Barry White in the background. Just probably some scented candles or something. Awesome. Mm hmm. So that's essential blue craft. They have a ginormous capacity for pleasure, which is awesome. The downside is, if it doesn't look, just write, they can get in their head. Like they've created this beautiful space for connection and intimacy and their socks on the floor. So they can only think about the socks on the floor. Do you know what I'm saying? Totally. So a sensual kiss. Just think of like long makeout sessions. Just slow, lingering delicious.

 

Keri Norley 

Make out some timelessness. Yeah,

 

Lea Newman 

exactly. And then sensual touches, like a contoured hand. Think of, you know, long strokes on the body or even kind of a massage. Touch. Okay,

 

Keri Norley 

Mm hmm.

 

Lea Newman 

Are you listening? Did you hear what her responses are to them? Let's see what goes next. I love it. All. Right. Say that again?

 

Keri Norley 

I love it all. Yes. All of those things already go.

 

Lea Newman 

We're getting to the yummy stuff. So the sexual blueprint is really what we think of as being sex in this country. Right? It is penetration. It is nudity. It is orgasms, right? Sexual blueprints. They're super powers at a super turned on like zero to 60 They're raring to go. Which is really an awesome skill to have, I think totally. It's amazing. And they're very, like interested in getting to the big ego. Getting to the deed, if you will. Yeah, a little PC cuz I don't know where you're gonna post this.

 

Keri Norley 

It's just going on the podcast platforms will be videos on other YouTube too. Yeah. Okay.

 

Lea Newman 

Great. Some of their shadows, though, are because they're so focused on getting to the deed. Right. They miss out on the pleasure. They miss out on the journey. Yeah, so a sexual kiss is like those, like deed in Yeah, like kind of kisses where you feel like they're gonna bite your face off like, Huh?

 

Keri Norley 

Yeah, they take you surprise take you by surprise and make your

 

Lea Newman 

sexual touches. You know, it's it's about the genitals. It's about getting to the deed. Yeah, sexual. Yeah. And then the fourth blueprint is kinky blueprint. Now oftentimes, when I talk about the kinky blueprint, people think I like they automatically assume that I mean, BDSM. And yes, it is that, but truthfully, and ultimately, it's about whatever is taboo for you. Whatever is taboo for you. So if you have been somebody that your whole life you have had sex only with the lights off,

 

Keri Norley 

having the lights on would be having the lights

 

Lea Newman 

on could be a very taboo naughty thing for you, as an example, right. So it was awesome about the kinky blueprints, it mean, they have an amazing vocabulary for their desire, pleasure and passion. Because, you know, in the BDSM community, if we're talking about that aspect of it, um, you know, consent conversations are a thing, and we talk about what we like, and there's no shame around it, right. So that's really beautiful. The shadow side is that sometimes people can kind of get in a rut, like they find one thing that they they like almost a fetish. And then they get kind of stuck in that only one pathway to pleasure. Right? So they're missing out on the possibility sometimes. And

 

Keri Norley 

that's kind of that's kind of interesting because when I think of it That model of the world, there's so much possibility in it. There. I mean, there's places I've explored, but there's definitely more that I'm like, Ooh, I haven't tried golf balls.

 

Lea Newman 

When you're in your empowered, like when you're empowered, and you're kinky blueprint, yeah, it's it's wide open, wide open, so much possibility for play. And in the shadow side, you can sometimes get stuck into

 

Keri Norley 

one of the one of the way to get there,

 

Lea Newman 

right. And then also, depending on what somebody is, somebody is kink is, there can sometimes be shame around what their desire is. So many cases could be. They could be anything. And, yeah, I mentioned there's actually two types of cake. There's psychological kink. And then there's also sensation based cake, which is more like impact play and pleasure items on the skin and that kind of thing. And then psychological kink is that sub DOM thing? Well, it can be that sub DOM thing that we talked about earlier. Where giving commands asking for what you want.

 

Keri Norley 

US ice, it's so interesting, like, the first time I Well, no, I've experienced it different places, but to really play it out. And I did it when the first times with some in a retreat I was at and it was so fascinating to allow yourself to really surrender into, like, letting someone fully Damir. And it wasn't, it wasn't like and I say this because I and I and I emphasize what you're saying, because there was no sex, great, sexual. Anything that happened that already can be really titillating. Even a was happening. It was huge turn

 

Lea Newman 

on and very titillating to like, surrender. Yeah, like that. And I find a lot of alpha women love, love it. Love it. in their lives. They're the ones making all the decisions. Oh my

 

Keri Norley 

god, yes. How many times I'm like, can I just just not make any just take me like, I want to make no decisions. I want to do nothing. I want to be taken away. And like, Absolutely.

 

Lea Newman 

Example, right? That's something that can happen in that space.

 

Keri Norley 

It's been it's been such a it's been for me one of the when I started to learn when I was like, okay, when I was really coming into, I would say an embodied feminine versus a not so great, crazy feminine. I would say one of the things that I actually asked for was that I was like I want to be able to just receive and there were times when I was like I need to be able to tap in and let somebody and it doesn't again, like yes, it was sexually, but also, there are places where it's like how many places in my life? Can I just go out and allow myself to say yes to receiving and then see where they show up and be like, okay, yes, I can receive this just say thank you. Just say thank you instead of having to also give back because that's part of when we start to play these games in the sexual space. It's like, it can be like, Oh, but I want to give back. No, you're just receiving. And like, it's really fascinating to see where where we innately go to. And what is our auto, our autopilot?

 

Lea Newman 

All the programming that we've received over the years about who you're supposed to be in life, let alone in the bedroom, you know,

 

Keri Norley 

right? And then it all shows up in the bedroom. So like you can see it so

 

 

clearly.

 

Keri Norley 

So clearly,

 

Lea Newman 

with the last blueprint, Oh, there's one more. There's one more the last. Oh,

 

Keri Norley 

of course there is.

 

Lea Newman 

The last blueprint is the shapeshifter. She likes a bit of all of it. He likes all of it. And not just likes it but needs it. full satisfaction, full pleasure and fulfillment in this area of life. They're fluent in all of the other Blueprints that I explained. So all of the kisses all of the touch that I talked about, like all of it really lights them up. So that is I mean, that's an amazing skill. The shadow side though, is they can sometimes resort to people pleasing in the bedroom. Because they like them all if their partner is you know, mainly one or two. Then they can sometimes resort to just whatever's that is that language in the bedroom if you will. Yeah. Going there need for all of the other ones. Yeah. So my question to you is which one do you think you are?

 

Keri Norley 

I agree with you totally shapeshifter. Yeah, undoubtedly, totally. And I definitely would be the Who would, I can see how I have, how I can get how we can get stuck in a couple of them. And how I would give up like, Oh, it's okay that I don't have all that beautiful like gentle touch, like, Oh my God, that's like heaven. And I don't need to be in a bedroom for that. Like he could be sitting on the couch just touching me, please just rub your arms up and down me like it's heaven to me.

 

Lea Newman 

You know, when I came to this work, I was 1,000% that Shapeshifter and her shadow. I didn't even know about energetic anything. I didn't even know that was a thing, let alone be able to articulate it to somebody that it was something that I needed. And I was so unfulfilled, so ridiculously unfulfilled, I was dating mainly sexual blueprints. And so I was only getting that one flavor of ice cream. You know what I'm saying? I was bored with that flavor of ice cream.

 

Keri Norley 

flavor gets boring, but it's fun sometimes.

 

Lea Newman 

Well, it is fun. And it's a piece of me that needs fulfilling. And what I would also say is that, um, like I said, there was other things that I wasn't even aware that I needed. But also I was overriding myself. Because, you know, again, the sexual blueprint, zero to 60. Baby, they're in it to win it right from the get go. And I was ignoring the freeze that was happening in my body, I needed time, I needed more space, I needed more gentleness, I needed a little more important play, to work up to that kind of, you know, intense penetrative engagement, even more time and space to get there. And I was overriding myself like crazy. So then there I am receiving penetration and not really ready for. So then it wasn't even fun. I wasn't even having a good job, a good time, I was fulfilling an obligation or a duty that I made up in my mind,

 

Keri Norley 

which is so problematic in so many marriages and relationships, I mean, regardless of marriage, but relationships, you know, that that somebody and both sides of this, you know, like I love listening to men who will say the same thing that a woman assumes that just because he's a man, right? Because the assumption is often like you can just get up and go and we're ready to go for you anytime. And as a woman are slower this is, you know, that was the thing. You know, it's what people think, right? It's that generalization.

 

Lea Newman 

There are these stereotypes that we have, right? They're true. They're projections. It's right. You know, in my work with men, one of the biggest revelations that so many of them have is that they are not a sexual blueprint. Like they thought they were their entire life. They've just been, they've been

 

Keri Norley 

programmed to think that they're supposed to go from zero to 16 be done.

 

Lea Newman 

Close to look and and I don't want to, I hope nobody's hearing this that like, and Pooh poohing a sexual blueprint or anything. It is amazing. There is nothing wrong with it. However, if you have been programmed that that is what it's supposed to be. And that's not what's actually showing up either. That can get really confusing,

 

Keri Norley 

right? Yeah. Like, if I had that all the time, that would not feel good for me. Right? It wouldn't, because there's times where that's like, no, no, but we have the right to and I think it's such a beautiful thing. You said you have the right to say no.

 

Lea Newman 

Absolutely. Hmm. Okay, buddy, sex.

 

Keri Norley 

Right. So, okay, so with this, knowing all of this stuff, okay, this is so beautiful. I love hearing this. How does this work into unsticking yourself? Because this is the other part of the work that you do. Yes.

 

Lea Newman 

Yes. So unstuck yourself was born out of I, you know, I often joke around that I teach all the things that they should have taught us like freshmen stuff your sophomore year in college, like how to actually human.

 

Keri Norley 

Right? Wouldn't that be nice, wouldn't it?

 

Lea Newman 

Nobody teaches us Gen how to be had to be about sexuality, about pleasure, about connection and intimacy. Nobody teaches us those things. You know, and I teach about boundaries and communication, money and health like so many other things. How does this play into unsticking yourself is one facet of view. It's this this unspoken piece that it just needs to be brought out into the open. Can we please talk about it? Can we please explore it? Like pleasure is your birthright. This organism was designed for pleasure and joy and happiness. And yet most of us live our lives like making ourselves do something and let's You know, let's push forward. Let's get the outcome. Slow down. Let's do it in a way that feels really good. At home or outside the bedroom, it doesn't really matter to me. It's

 

Keri Norley  

It's so interesting because this weekend I had my no coincidence we're talking today, of course. But I had my kids were it in Texas for the weekend with my husband who doing gymnastics, they actually just had their biggest national meet. And for those who've been watching my kids, they just play Sam just took seven metals out of seven and Robbie got five. So they serious, but the teams won in the first national conference. I'm so celebrating them. I'm so psyched for them. But they were gone. And I stayed home. And I was like, Oh, my God, I can't remember is like I travel. So anyone who's been listening knows I travel. So it's not like being alone wasn't the thing. My kids are at school in gymnastics, it's not the thing, but to be home, in my space, especially to Torian by yourself, by myself for three days without anyone who's supposed to come or go was like, or without having to be anywhere without any and I specifically Saturday and Sunday was like, we're not like know where to be no plans. No, nothing. This is just me time. And I sat with my intention for the weekend. Especially starting Well, no, the whole weekend cuz I had a girlfriend come on Friday. And we played we had creative play. We did like healing work, which had this whole day of play. And so my intention being like, How can I be in the most pleasure? Yeah, and it was such, right. It was so fun to be like, and then that beat myself up like you're not having pleasure now carry stop, right? Because you can hear it right? Like to play with this question was like, Well, where does that where's the extreme of that take me is this pleasurable? Is when can I do the dishes and have it be pleasure? Because I have to do the dishes today. Right? Right, can this still be a terrible experience? Or do I have to dread that? And like, and then I would get I got to the end today said am i did i do pleasurable things today? Like I checked in with myself. And I was like, wow, actually, I had this really beautiful conversation with a beautiful woman than I then I got to I had self pleasure that day. I actually microdose that day, I had I made bracelets, I talked to another beautiful friend. Like all these beautiful things that I did. I had a beautiful shower and like everything I did and like even the way that I touched myself,

 

Lea Newman 

and like your energetic and your sensual got very fat.

 

Keri Norley 

It was very fed. I really and I danced, I danced in the mirror and watched and I was like, Oh, how can I? How can I feel so pleasure in my so much pleasure in my body? Like looking at my body and being in my body. And I and I say this because throughout the day, like I did questions like did I actually do pleasurable things for myself, even to the end of the day, because I've been focused on it. And I look back and I was like, tick you did some cool stuff today for yourself. And I think that sometimes like we can forget like it's in these sometimes. I'm gonna say the mundane of the world. Right like it was there was nothing that I did that was specifically like, mind blowing. Nothing that was out of my ordinary the rest of my life. And yeah, I was like, I feel so nurtured by myself today. Yes, you know, and then the next day I woke up and I had to do I'm in the middle of launching my unplugged my my crypto mastermind, that's all about coming into web 3.0 in the crypto space. And I've had like a head intro to crypto last week. And it was a crazy week. And it was almost like to the point where like, I don't have time to take this time for myself. And I was like, stop. That's the noise that you don't need to listen to you don't have time, not to you don't have time not to. And then I had like sales things come in. And I was like, of course, when we take the moments to have the pleasure and take time for ourselves and recharge. That's when magic happens. And it was such a it was such a like such a beautiful thing for me this weekend to really say Carrie this is the way that like gets to be because if I continue to go the other way, right? Like then I'll just continue to keep like, oh, just keep keep going, keep going keep going. Let's work. Let's work. Let's work like it's got to be hard. We're gonna push and like No, stop. Because that's not actually what you want your life to look like. And I'm kind of going to assume like what you're saying around unstuck things. This is kind of it it's like looking Oh, is this what you want your life to look like and go Well if this isn't it?

 

Lea Newman 

This what you're describing is that whole life dripping with pleasure that I turned everything yet to be a form of self pleasure. Everything is a form of self love. And I just want to point out the way you described, you know, you were asking some really great questions. So it took you down a beautiful path. I just want you to notice, like the right we said that you're a shapeshifter, you're likely a shapeshifter, right. You need it all. Notice in the day that you described, you actually fed all of your blueprints. It is actual rebellion to enjoy doing the dishes. Once you say no Little on the kinky side. You know, it's actual rebellion to to enjoy these mundane things or find a way that you can not only enjoy them, but actually derive pleasure from them. And you had a self pleasure session, I'm just gonna assume that was some sexual blueprint. Oh,

 

Keri Norley 

yes, there was. We definitely got to orgasm.

 

Lea Newman 

All the other things that you were talking about doing and being with your body and dancing, you know, dancing in the mirror for yourself is highly Central, highly energetic as well. And so just notice, again, would probably with the exception of the direct genital touch that occurred during during self pleasure, none of it was sexual per se. Right? Right. And yet it fed you so much. And when I'm working with people, that's often what we talk about like it because I think these blueprints that it doesn't just live in the bedroom, it is our whole life. This is how we live in it when you feed yourself outside the bedroom. Right? When it comes time to be in the bedroom. Not only do you know more what you enjoy, and can ask for it because you have so many references for genuinely enjoying that type of connection. But it's, I don't know, like sometimes getting it jumpstarted in the bedroom, right when we've been in the autopilot all day. And then you're like, Okay, it's time to it's time to engage with my partner now. Right? Right, you haven't had any pleasure all day in anything. And now you're trying to you know, pull the like, the love of the image I have is like pulling the lot more cord. Okay, we're trying to earn No, no, no, no, we're trying to get the pleasure motor started, right. And if your life is designed with pleasure all throughout your it's just more

 

Keri Norley 

Is it's like you know some people say like to live in orgasmic life, right. And to me, it's like I know when I'm in the right place when I feel inside, or orgasmic right like you feel the tingle within you. You're like I want more. It doesn't mean I'm having an orgasm in the moment. But that's what leads me that's the thing that leads and I think that when we you know it took me a long time to cultivate that even to know that that's what that was right. And I say this because I know there's probably little people listening. I know I definitely have had, you know, conversations with clients are on this before where they don't have any connection to this. So I just want to honor if you're listening to this right now and you're hearing this conversation you're going What the heck are they talking about? Like, we love you, you're in the perfect place, because I know like, I didn't always have that connection, and you didn't always have that connection. Definitely not. But like when we can allow ourselves to feel that it's like I can do the dishes and be in my pleasure space. And it can be a turn on 100%. You know, and I think, I think the more that we allow ourselves to. I guess this is what's what's workfor me right now. And this is something that I'm definitely following in because I've definitely been in this place of you don't know this, but this last few years, I've been working to overcome bipolar tendencies. And so I'm finally in this place I was writing about it actually, this weekend, this place where it feels like a veil is lifting. Like I'm like, oh, wait a minute, I can see. Not the horrible noises in my head. So I'm actually starting to, to see beyond that and feel beyond that. And like, I was working it and retraining it for the last few years, but all of a sudden, it's not so hard, if that makes sense. And so things are kind of dropping. And I'm like, pleasure helps with that a lot. Right? And so part of this unstuck is like okay, well, does this actually bring me pleasure? Does this thought bring me pleasure? Does it bring me to the place where I want to be going? And I think this is one of those things when I think about unstacking. And I'm really curious to hear this from you. Because when I think about it, cuz this is where I've been like how do I unstuck myself from that horrible looping that was going on in my mind that was just keeping me trapped

 

Lea Newman 

Over and over he in your mind, it's over my head is are coming up here. The it's not even real. That's ego. That is I call them the saboteurs right there. They're talking smack and it's like, incessant dit, dit, dit, dit, dit, dit, dit, dit, dit...

 

Keri Norley 

Shoot, they're horrible. He says, Go away.

 

Lea Newman 

Right? When we do have like, amazing self care. And can we just talk about this? It really pisses me off when people talk about self care that it's, you know, oh, go get your nails done. Oh, go take a bath. Well, yes, that's a peek like this much of it. But self care is doing the dishes. It's also getting the laundry done. It's also scheduling your doctor's appointments that you know, you need to go to, it's taking your vitamins, it's dancing, it's walking in nature, it's, it's so much more than that commercialized self care, nonsense that they pitch us, okay, I'll get off my, my box for a minute. But when we bring pleasure into the body, right, when we create this life dripping with pleasure, what it allows you to do is actually be the witness of the voice writer. So you go, Oh, man, they're just talking up a storm in there. Let me drop in. Is that even me? 99.999% of time. No, it's not. Listen, most people report when I asked, where's the sound of your voice of you, your essence of your being? Those I call it chin down thinking, right? It's your heart, your gut, in, in our case, your pussy. Right, right. And you'll just get this to your point earlier, you'll just get this. Yes. And it's a single statement. Lots of spaciousness, it's just a deep knowing. Yep. Yes, I want more.

 

Keri Norley 

Or that's it. And I think it's a really interesting thing to when you actually are, allow yourself to be led by that. I mean, for me, this is what has unstuck me, this is 100% because and I say this in over this last year and a half how many times my all of those pieces and I don't think they all come all the same time every time like sometimes it's your heart that will speak your room that will speak your pussy that will speak whatever it right like sometimes they're all lined up all together at the same time for me, but sometimes it's more one than the other right? Personally, I don't know if that's

 

Lea Newman 

your experience difference in the conversation that it has with you. You know, these guys up here are like Deke Deke constant nonstop and they're very mean. Yeah, if the voice you're hearing is mean that is not you. It is not you. It's some likely the voice of Summit. I mean, you're probably hearing it in your voice. But it's actually words that were used and unfortunately hurt you in the past. Yeah, totally. And they're on repeat and like, won't shut up and they're very mean and they're belligerent almost about it. And when you get in that space, take a deep breath. Get present. Go do some self care and then drop in. Check in with your heart. Check in with your gut check in with your with your genitals. What do they have to say about what's coming? What is your truth? Listen for your truth because this is not true this is.

 

Keri Norley 

And I think this is and this is the piece, right? So I think when we start to listen, then the next piece is acting because I see and I can see this a lot and I'm in right now it's hilarious to watch when I'm in the sales process with people, and there's an investment. Right. And so as I'm, as people are coming into unplug, I can feel every part of them. Now first of all, I'm a manifester in human design, too. So like my job is to initiate so when I when I initiate someone, some people will will be like, yes, and the spark goes, and I can feel because that's my job, my job, right? I feel that. And then some people I'm like, No, this isn't like, and they're not. It's not right timing. You can you can feel these things, right. And when people light up in their entire beings, and I can feel and they're like a yes, in their room there everything there. They're like, yes. And then they're like, but I'm not going to do it. I'm like, oh, and I want

 

Lea Newman 

I told you, you could use your erotic blueprints for saying,

 

Keri Norley 

Oh, my God, you need to tell me more. Because I want to know more about that. Wow. Fascinating

 

Lea Newman 

Talking to somebody like, like for you. I was able to pick up on that your shape shift? Yeah, totally. Like five minutes. sation? Uh huh. I was able to pick up on it. And so then when you adjust your conversation.

 

Keri Norley 

oh, to meet them in there to meet them, right.

 

Lea Newman 

So like, I'll give an example. A traditional sales pitch that's like act now and get 500. Right. That's a very sexual blueprint. sales method. Again, tha decision right now. They need more time. They need more spaciousness with it. They need to feel into your offer.

 

Keri Norley 

So funny because some of them I'm like, Okay, have you checked in you got that you got your Manny? Jen. Yes. Now, have you gotten me checked in with your womb?

 

Lea Newman 

Because I know they're energetic. That's, that's important. But for an energetic as an example, that is too intense.

 

Keri Norley 

So interesting.

 

Lea Newman 

Right. So some great questions for an energetic how is this feeling for you? Check in with your body. That's also good questions for your central? Hmm,

 

Keri Norley 

Yeah, that's interesting. I love it. And it's interesting that as I think about it, like as I think about the people I've spoken to, I'm like, Yeah, I probably naturally would have done some of those things. Because some of them like, the response is just here. Here it is, because you're ready. And some of them there's like, oh, you need to check in, I could feel you right, do that.

 

Lea Newman 

And yeah, traditional sales tells us that that's not okay. If you don't, Oh, right on the phone call. That's not okay. You're never gonna hear back from them. And all this. It's complete rubbish.

 

Keri Norley 

It is because there are certain people that need to feel that

 

Lea Newman 

rubbish. They need to feel into it, they need to feel them to you. And they, you know.

 

Keri Norley 

Totally, I love it.

 

Lea Newman 

And, and I would say 80% of my clients are energetic, and they get back to me, I just say, Hey, can would it be okay, if we, you know, talk about this again, within the next 48 hours? Yeah. Totally. Super easy.

 

Keri Norley 

Yeah, totally. Yeah, so for me, though, the interesting piece, though, is around all of that is and I want to I want to speak to it is that if you are being spoken to by any of these things, right, like your womb is saying, yes, you're and you're lit up, like go do those things. Because I see a lot of people who, who then who then are afraid of where they're called to. Right. And I think this is where we get stuck. Like if we don't move towards that

 

Lea Newman 

Can of getting stuck, right? It's the definition of hearing the call from your from your into intuition, your your soul, your being, but there's programming that tells you that it's not okay. Right. When you were what you were raised with sometimes for some people, it's religion, sometimes it's just your, you know, you're you were raised with beliefs. It doesn't even have to be religion, right? You're raised with beliefs and it makes the voices make whatever your intuition, right. No, wrong. Right.

 

Keri Norley 

Because generally speaking, you know, you know, you know, and I think this is this is the this is when I when I feel the and it's not even about sales for me, it's when I see friends people I know people who I'm working with people, you know, I'm surrounded by and you see them light up and go yes. And then not do the thing. And I'm like, Oh, come on, go do it. Go do it. Like you want almost want to wheel them. Right and like you can't will them let it go or like they're on their journey. They're on their path. But it's a rarely, you know, I think it's I think it's so, so critical for people to understand, like, when we open that door. Magic happens then. But we won't know until we open that door.

 

Lea Newman 

We very rarely regret the actions we take. We often regret the ones we didn't take. Yeah. Yeah, you hear that soul calling, and you take action on it. That's juicy stuff. And this is the other thing, sometimes your, your intuition tells you to go in a certain direction. And it doesn't necessarily work out, but it takes you in the direction of the thing that will. Which is so cool. I love it.

 

Keri Norley 

Even even the the mistakes that come and I say this quote unquote, right? The quote unquote, failures, the quote unquote, mistakes that you think are but they're not. They're also some of like, I looked back last year, and I was like, some of the places I was most grateful for the things that totally flopped. But it was like, oh, because I had so many lessons. And if we can take if we can look at those lessons, we're like, there's so much to be learned here. Versus

 

Lea Newman 

Be forward model. Right. Right, a fail forward model. And I think we were talking about before we start hit record, you know, my motto in business is f it up fast. Like if you're if you're going to do fail forward, fail forward and fail big. So you get the lessons, and then you do better next time. Yes,

 

Keri Norley 

yes. Okay, so one of the things that you put up recently that I want to drop into, because I think this will be very helpful for people to more questions I have for you. Sure. I think I'm our sexless marriages. Yeah. And I would love to have you kind of like give some people because you were saying one out of three marriages is sexless. So if there are some people who are listening that have sexless marriages, then can we drop in and say, what are some ways that we can support you like, first of all, before we got on this call, we actually talking about this and saying how sexless marriage is, often there's stuff underneath it. And for those of you who've been listening, know that there's been stuff going on in my marriage, this is, you know, like, we're going through stuff right now. Right. So this is something that I have been feeling of, it doesn't always have to be this way. And I know the reasons that we are disconnected right now in some of the ways that we are disconnected, or because there's emotional stuff, but we're working on it. Like, it's not like we've just gone and turned corners and like put you know, blinders on. We're working on it. And so I'm really curious, though, because our times and I'm like, but can it turn around? I know it can. But what are the steps to have it be like, Okay, we go from a place where we're working through the stuff, we're having the conversations, it feels a little bit edgy and uncomfortable to go back there. But we both want to go back there. So what are these places, if it's I think sexless marriages who don't want to reconvene, they're not going to reconvene.

 

Lea Newman 

It takes a willingness on the part of both parties. So

 

Keri Norley 

both parties are willing, what are some thoughts that you have around turning it around? Well,

 

Lea Newman 

I'll start with, you know, the the statistic is one in three relationships are sexless. And, you know, I want to put a caveat on there that some of that is due to like medical illness, you know, those types of things. So that's its own category, right, we're talking about to people that are able to engage in intimacy. And we'd like to, but or not, right. And the definition of sexless is less than 10 times in a year. Okay, less than 10 times a year and still not a lot.

 

Keri Norley 

It's not a lot. And you know, this is the other the other caveat I'll put on it is if you're having sex less than 10 times in a year and everybody's enjoying it then who cares? If you enjoy that rate that paste that frequency, if you will, right? Yep, weighing it. Who cares about the stupid statistic right cares about somebody else's definition if you are fulfilled by it and your partner is also fulfilled by freaking Yeah, you you found the holy grail keep on rockin on with your bad stuff. Um, but the there's this sense that for a lot of people that is less than what they would desire. And what we were talking about before was there's likely something underneath you know, there is emotional challenges happening in the marriage like with one another. One of the books I use in my unstuck your sex course is called come as you are by Emily Nagasaki. And Chapter Four specifically is freaking amazing. Talks about context. And in her research, she's an academic. First and foremost, right? In her research, the number one killer of great sex is stress. got nothing to do with the other person? It's this lifestyle that we have created. Yes, have I got to be Go, go go, I've got to produce, I got to get shit done. And we're blazing through life. Not doing the life dripping with pleasure, pleasure that blazing through life, and we're so stressed out, we don't have any capacity for pleasure. We're not even tuned into that. I'm not even tuned into that frequency in our own bodies, if you will. And so no, da, it gets really hard to come together in the bedroom. You know, like, Oh, no, you just don't make I think I think often right now, we just don't make time for each other. Right? Like, that's what's happening in the world is that human beings are not making time for each other Period, end of story.

 

Lea Newman 

Not making time for ourselves, I'm not even getting to the part where we're talking about interacting with your partner yet, we are not making time for ourselves, to be calm and, like dropped in with ourselves and what's going on for our own bodies. And it leads to a lot of overriding ourselves, you know, and so then we have references now for interacting, when we didn't really want to interact, we weren't really ready for it. And we didn't enjoy it. And now we have, like, pain and trauma that are showing up. Yeah. And so, you know, the number one thing I would recommend for everybody is get a self care and self pleasure practice. And when I say self pleasure, I don't necessarily mean you know, for all my energetics that their butthole just puckered when I said that, you know, I don't necessarily mean a caressing of your genitals, it, certainly I would love for you to get into that space, that would be wonderful. You have so like, the most number of nerve endings in your entire body is located right down there, you know, and can bring you all the pleasure in the world. That's wonderful. But self pleasure can be you know, I can't tell you how many times on a call, I'm just running my fingertips on my wrist. Or giving myself a gentle massage, or the one that you'll see a lot is this my eye, my neck is a pleasure center for me. And it again, to your point earlier, it's not about like, you know, my downstairs having a Sploosh necessarily. It's about like, ah, feels good. It does feel good. Oh, that feels really good. Right? And if we want to talk about stress, stress in the brain equals adrenaline and cortisol. Right? Pleasure is oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and feel good hormones, which you get with the big O, all of those things, but you also get it with his touch. And guess what, guess what cancels out the adrenaline and the cortisol. Because he Tosun, serotonin, dopamine, and feel good hormones.

 

Keri Norley 

So in other words, if you're feeling stressed out yourself.

 

Lea Newman 

I would say you know, in contact, do something that lights you up, go be in nature. Yes, you could take a bath. If you want to pet your puppy. Have your favorite cup of coffee and slow, slow down and savor it. Enjoy the pleasure with it. They'll let making sense. So that would be my number one thing and again, that has to do with you not about other yet. Yep. And I would say you know, do the work, do the work. I would love to welcome all of you in to unstuck your sex, but there is a directory. If you go to I think it's blueprint breakthrough.com. There is a directory of coaches out there. I think we have something like 250 coaches now that are amazing at what they do. And there is somebody to fit all different types, right? Doesn't have to be me. There's so many people out there that that work with all kinds of different populations and they're just so good at what they do. Drop in learn about yourself, learn about what you actually like and desire first for you. And this I think is the challenge when we when we start talking about sex and intimacy It's often our sexuality is so often in reference to other. Right? Like I learned about initially, I learned about my sexuality through the eyes of the male gates. Yeah. Right that I'm supposed to go. Right? Whether I was actually in pleasure or not, that's what it's supposed to look like. And it's supposed to look like, you know, certain types of lingerie and it's supposed supposed to look a certain way.

 

Keri Norley 

Right? No, really. And then we only get pleasured by a man.

 

Lea Newman 

Right? But my sexuality is nothing like that. My sexuality? Is my partner standing across the room, and am I allowed to swear? Yes. I fucking me from across the room. Don't show that anywhere. You know. And if you enjoy sex as a woman, you know, we're taught that you're shameful. Mm hmm. It's shameful. Like, we need to work through that. And so one of the things you talk about, too, is using pleasure to remove shame. Absolutely. But we need to remove all of that for ourselves. Again, this is you doing your work for you. To know, honor love except and trust you. Then we can start talking about how does the couple come together. But each person needs to go do their own flippin work.

 

Keri Norley 

And that's the truth.

 

Lea Newman 

Right, because it isn't space, once we've started to bust shame. Now we can say hey, I would really love it. If you lift your finger and shoved it in my ear, while we're making out like, I really love that. You might not be willing to ask for that. If you've got all the shame around the fact that you enjoy that. You know, but it creates a space when you can own it. It's something that really turns you on and something that you really love. Then sharing it with your partner vulnerably. Guess what you're gonna get? Right?

 

Keri Norley 

And if you don't get it, but you probably should have that conversation too. Right?

 

Lea Newman 

But it's an opening, right? Opening, like I have this desire, I'd love to explore it with you. Are you available to play with me in that? Right? What's the safe container we need to create? For me to experience it and for you to provide it? How can you feel safe? Sticking your wet willy finger in my ear? Like, it feels weird to you? Okay, what would make you feel safe with that? Hmm. And I'm being playful Of course, you know? No, Charlie. It's, um, it's powerful. And that's how it's from that vulnerability. And talking about our desires, that there's deep connection. Deep dick. So true, and go amazing places with that.

 

Keri Norley 

It's very true. It's very true. I feel I feel personally blessed to have had partners that, for the most part have been very open to all the conversations. And so yeah, it feels I feel blessed. Because I know there's a lot of people in the world who haven't and where that's really challenging, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really challenging. Of course, it's taken both time for about all of you know, in all of the places it takes time to build the trust. And absolutely, and to feel like hey.

 

Lea Newman 

Fast is through the vulnerability, right. That's how you build trust.

 

Keri Norley 

Totally. So beautiful. Thank you for that. Now, last question.

 

Lea Newman 

Because this is about money. Yeah.

 

Keri Norley 

I'd love to know how do you see how old of this sexuality, pleasure? All of the things we've been talking about how does that relate to unlocking our eyes the word that's coming as money codes or wealth codes, our ability to increase our capacity to receive money wealth?

 

Lea Newman 

Yeah, follow the pleasure, man. Like literally follow the breadcrumbs of pleasure, it will lead you if you are in a job you freaking hate. It's It's akin to like a violation of your body and you're doing it to yourself day after day after day after day. Follow the pleasure follow the joy follow the passion and your your blueprint can actually guide you there. can totally guide you there. A sexual blueprint is probably in sales or Business of some sort, right? Because it's that penetrative kind of engagement every single day, right? Somebody that's more energetic is probably going to enjoy remote work. Essential is probably going to prefer like being in a workspace space because they can connect with other humans. And well, kinky blueprint probably does something a little unorthodox.

 

Keri Norley 

Right, and a shapeshifter, we get to do a little bit of all of it, but throughout the week.

 

Lea Newman 

And so to speak to that, that's why I love what I do, and how I do it. Because I get to, I get to feed all of my group blueprints with how I show up in the world. It's, I mean, that's how I created my business. It's all parts of me.

 

Keri Norley 

Love that. I love that. So interesting again, that today, I was literally thinking to myself this morning, actually, before getting on the call with you how I was like, Man, I have created an epic life that I get to talk to you because this podcast is just full of so many juicy conversations. And I'm like, and I'm the one who gets to have the conversations. This is so amazing. I get to have all these credible people reach out to me, want to talk with me have all these things. And like share this with the world. Like this is my like, and I was like literally, like, this is my life. Of course, this is my life, this is what I created. Because it is so pleasurable for me to do this, like this doesn't feel like work at all in any way, shape or form. Exactly. And that's like to me and when and I love because, you know, it comes back to exactly what I was saying before, which is like when I started to allow myself to let pleasure guide me, which was years ago, right? Because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. And it doesn't mean that it's been a perfect path. I have definitely strained streaming strewn, as we do is we're humans like, oh, shoot, I forgot pleasure. Come back to pleasure, right? We're not like we're not No, either. It's about It is like the things, the things that are like, I wanted to write a book because I love writing. I love this because I love having amazing conversations, like all of the things I get to do that bring me pleasure. And right now I'm in conversation with somebody who can support my business, because I'm like, all the things that I don't do well, I need someone to pick up the pieces so that I can run with the things that I love. And I think it's really important that we start to look at that, because if I had not said yes to any of these things, we were, you know, coming back to what we were talking about earlier around this, you know, pleasure and being led by it. If I hadn't said yes, the door wouldn't have opened, right. But when the door opens more magic appears. And I think we get so afraid because it's dark, and we don't understand. But like, why would pleasure take us in a bad way? Like, that's the only question like Why? If I'm lit up by this.

 

Lea Newman 

 I can't like me. It cannot be somewhere it cannot.

 

Keri Norley 

And then the more that we the more that I follow it. It's like, well, what if I could just, you know, as this last weekend, right? I had nothing else to distract me from this. Right? What if I could live in every moment pleasure? And then we can and then we take more and more on and then the things that don't bring us pleasure tend to kind of fall away?

 

Lea Newman 

Yeah. It's not just that they fall away. It's just become so palpable in your body that it's not letting you up. Like why do you want to do it? Right? Right, you want to do it? Right. It just the contrast becomes so apparent. That you're like, No, yeah, no.

 

Keri Norley 

Yeah, I feel that. Thank you so much, Leah. This has been amazing and I just think I would I would like to end with a question to everybody not from just for me just the thought that I'm having not the end but like a question for me is like are you following your pleasure? Are you allowing yourself to be in your pleasure in every moment? Are you saying yes to the things that bring you pleasure and allowing the things that don't fall away no matter how scary hard or difficult it may feel in the moment? And then Lee I want to have you wrap up with any final notes and let people know where they can go and get their erotic blueprints on where they can come and meet you see, you follow you online all the things.

 

Lea Newman 

Yeah, I guess I would wrap with pleasures, your birth rate. Your body was designed for pleasure, our our hearts, our soul are fueled and lit up by pleasure. You're meant to enjoy life. This is this is not a rinse and repeat activity. You're meant to enjoy life. And you know, as we've talked about this entire call, I really want to invite everybody to explore what that means for you and genuinely create a life dripping with pleasure. Genuinely it will totally transform everything both inside and outside the bedroom. Absolutely. So where can they go to take the quiz? You can go to www. unstuck yourself. course.com/e b quiz. Varian. Yep. So that's WWW.unstuckyourself course.com/ Okay. And I do know this one little tidbit if you have, I think it's Yahoo or AOL. They, for whatever reason those two servers block the results coming in. So you know, use something else.

 

Keri Norley 

Perfect, and socials anywhere else that you are.

 

Lea Newman 

Oh my gosh, I'm everywhere. You can find me on Facebook under Lea Newman Of course I have a free group on Facebook called unstuck yourself over on Instagram because they banned me if you can even believe it. I had of course I can. Unfortunately, I had to start a new Instagram. It's unstuck yourself all one word with two underscores. And I'm on Tik Tok @unstuckyourself.

 

Keri Norley 

Perfect. Thank you, my dear, this has been enlightening. I have loved this. I am so grateful. I hope everybody else has taken something beautiful away from this. And for those of you who are listening, I will see you next week on the show.Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you love what you heard, please help us get this message out to more people because together we rise. Please review it, subscribe to the show and share on social media. When you share please tag me on Insta. I'm at Keri Norley And on Facebook Kaplan Norley is my official name there. Please come and connect with me on social media and say hello I love hearing from my listeners. And thank you so much for your support. I'm so excited to help you bring in the new well.